what? no? well, okay...

my year in words

2007-10-16T14:16:00.001-07:00

This past year has been the most challenging I have ever been hit with. You all know that already, If you know me at all.....

How do I explain my current state? Why do I feel that I have to?

My Mother's cancer diagnosis, the fear and helplessness, my manager in our building smoking meth regularly and the landlord smashing into my car and then attacking me physically, my Step Father's sudden decline and now process of dying...

My fears of not being good enough are alive.

My despair that reared up after the Portland Flamenco Festival Fiasco...after I was pegged as the "one" who was causing problems who then was subsequently pegged as the person who was "responsible" for all of my friends, including my teacher being kicked out of the festival.

This event sent me to the hospital. I had a panic attack out of sheer pain. I considered suicide. My weaknesses were crushed by a circumstance that wasn't even based in reality. All because one woman decided I was somehow responsible for heinous behavior that I didn't do or say.

I came back from my holiday and got laid off. So then how do I explain how I am acting? How do I explain that I am able to still perform and paint and participate in my creative endeavors? I danced my heart out at Malaika's party on Friday. My burlesque character is born and she was received so amazingly well - I am still in shock. I felt like I was in a dream. It was incredible.

And then I reflected.

My trip to DC to see my Step Dad was deeply life changing. He was a shell of the person I remembered. He was dying, tubes, suction...beeping....everywhere. He could only mouth words. He held my hand tight and tears streamed down his face. I wish I could still be there for him.

How do I explain what that is like?

How do I explain what it was like when we went into his apartment (which was his Mother's place, she is in a hospital for alziemers)...and saw complete disaster. Mess. Dirt. Vodka bottles everywhere. This from a man who never drank.

They found him laying on the bathroom floor barely alive. The bathroom floor was third world. It was filth. It was years of ignoring and not caring. This all from a man who used to be obsessed with cleanliness. How do I explain what that feels like?

Coming home I conjured up the energy to perform for my friend Malaika's party. It brought me up and gave me energy and strength to make a room full of people laugh and smile. I did burlesque and showed my belly. I danced and pranced. It was glorious.

I managed to curate the art gallery for the Show Off Festival at the same time.

All the while coughing.

I have pneumonia now. Although, it is on the mend..thank goodness.

This past year has been tough. My memory is bad. My heart is soft. My confidence wavers between high and low.

I feel like I am not consistent or helpful or reliable. I feel like people think I am a flake and fraud. I fear being complicated and whiny.

---

Then I book my "first" flamenco show...Nov 15th.

Then I book a bouffon clowning show for the LIVE BIENNIAL.

Then I work on producing the Carnival of the Arts II with my beloved Here Be Monsters. The best production company a gal could ever have!

Then The Blyss Show begins to draw interest from big producers and broadcasters.....

Then what.

Then I begin to feel afraid.

Then I feel that maybe I am not set out to do this stuff and that theatre teacher was right, "no one will ever work with you more than once". My fears about my self become huge.

In the past, when things like this would happen when I would perform, I would rejoice and feel stronger and it would last....but, now....it comes and then goes...and I feel guilt.

So how do I explain?

I can't.

All I can do is keep going and dancing and performing and being creative because I know that it is what keeps me alive. My husband's undying love, my friends' incredible support and words of wisdom...my cats purring.

All those things matter and mean more now than ever before. Thanks to all of the people who are giving me a chance to perform too...cause without you I wouldn't be having the "highs" of creative expression....

So....I keep on going and I can't, just can't explain it - sorry if I can't but....it is just the way it is.

Ole

2007-03-20T11:00:00.000-07:00

P1090327
Originally uploaded by elvirayebes.

Another shot by Elvira Yebes. It is so surreal seeing myself like this.

Bata De Cola - Alegrias

2007-03-15T23:08:00.000-07:00

P1090336bw
Originally uploaded by elvirayebes.

Here is another incredible shot of me by my friend Elvira Yebes. Her style impeccable. I feel so honoured to have such a great photograph.

my first bata de cola performance...

2007-03-10T23:29:00.000-08:00

P1090335
Originally uploaded by elvirayebes.

We did it!!

It was a great experience...

More pics to come.

xx j

Abby has these moments...

2007-03-06T19:05:00.000-08:00

Abby has these moments...
Originally uploaded by jclutter.

an amazing picture of an amazing dog...

check out her dog soul!!

man oh man.

so cute and yet so intensely thoughtful!

Sweetness & Blyss

2007-02-22T22:17:00.000-08:00

ECU Sweetness & Blyss
Originally uploaded by missyfitz.

This Saturday night me (Sweetness) and Blyss are performing on the variety stage at the Vancouver Burlesque Festival. It is going to be a hoot.

VBF HERE

A Blue World

2007-02-17T00:01:00.000-08:00

A Blue World
Originally uploaded by Ehsan Khakbaz.

this is iran.

i can only wish peace on such a beautiful place.

2007-01-08T22:30:00.000-08:00

Spiders On Drugs

This made me laugh so hard. I hope you enjoy it.

i aint wearing a hat

2006-12-20T21:00:00.000-08:00

i aint wearing a hat
Originally uploaded by missyfitz.

so ya, the hat jokes continue

the finger and the red head

2006-12-20T20:48:00.000-08:00

the finger and the red head
Originally uploaded by missyfitz.

it was a great party

2006-12-19T21:27:00.000-08:00

Fruitcake Lady: Relationship Advice

I love this so very much. I hope I am like her when I get old.

Merry Christmas.

scribbler and pele

2006-12-13T13:06:00.000-08:00

scribbler and pele
Originally uploaded by missyfitz.

We have bengal cats and, if you must know - we obsess over them. They are so beautiful and crazy and a bit wild and yet, we still love them so. Pele on the right is 18 lbs. Scribbler on the left is only about 13. Don't you just love the cute window posing???

Oh, Kitties!!1

another reason

2006-12-11T16:58:00.000-08:00

My Girl
Originally uploaded by Boered.

Yet another reason why I love goats so much. Look at the goat lips!

flamenco

2006-12-05T23:00:00.000-08:00

0343 Shimmering Flamenco
Originally uploaded by mrtriggerfinger.

As some of you may know, in the past couple of years I have gotten into flamenco dancing. I did ballet for many years as a young woman and then did whatever dance, whenever throughout my 20's. Then I found flamenco. Now, I am obsessed. I take 4 classes a week with Oscar Nieto and Kasandra Lea and truly, feel that I have found my thing. This picture captures why I love it so much. It is, for me, a dance of individuality which, I never felt when I did ballet. It brings me to a place where I love my body, self, soul...all that.

besos...

2006-12-03T11:26:00.000-08:00

my Puss

i laughed so hard at this. margaret cho and the gay mafia are brilliant.

I'm so excited!

2006-11-23T12:09:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited!
Originally uploaded by Boered.

i haven't written in ages. This goat has inspired me to write again. Thank goodness. I have always had a thing for goats. I think they are amazing and, also tasty. As a child, I spent quite a lot of time whispering into goats ears. I was convinced that I could communicate with them. I particularly enjoyed it when they would leap suddenly into the air. I still do this when I feel excited. Perhaps the fact that I am a capricorn has something to do with my sheer joyful expression which comes when goats are nearby.

2006-09-04T16:36:00.000-07:00

Joan Rivers tanked

It is lovely to see her in such great spirits. Apparently, Joan had a few too many bottles of gin before she went out on stage. Apparently, she is fucking hilarious when tanked. Remind me to invite her stretchfaced-ness to my next dinner party.

2006-09-04T16:34:00.000-07:00

apache

Proof that the 70's were the best time on earth. I truly wish I were a tad older than 5.

Damn, he is ROCKIN!

bush is thinking

2006-08-30T17:14:00.000-07:00

Bush Urges Nation To Be Quiet For A Minute While He Tries To Think

Commercial Drive fest

2006-06-20T20:20:00.000-07:00

drivefest-01
Originally uploaded by marc l'esperance.

At some point I truly hope that Canadians learn to recognize the beauty and power of the First Nations people.

sprinkles

2006-05-16T18:07:00.000-07:00

sprinkles
Originally uploaded by mypapercrane.

today is a day where i would love some sprinkles
i am currently being tested by the universe on many levels

and i just know

that rainbow sprinkles would save me

what is hot?

2006-04-30T18:35:00.000-07:00

Originally uploaded by the earthling.

this is hot

on many levels

it's mobile
it's liquid
it's rough

and slow

purple unitard

2006-04-13T12:36:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking alot about the performance I did for this year's "Show Off - Theatre Under the Gun Reloaded". I mocked the madness of theatre school and the pompousness of theatre school students. I was one - I have the right, you fuckin' gaylord! Ok, so here is the deal. I have been secretly planning on writing a one woman show for a long time. I yearn for it. I have been chickening out on the idea over and over. I think it is time to begin to press the thighmaster of my mind and give'er.

I should digress for a moment and speak to Suzanne Somers fabulous leotard of sky. Check out her HIGHCUT action and nude hose. I can just imagine the shiny slickness of her hose. Can you?

It is strange that I fear the writing of a show. I have proven elsewhere that I can write, make people laugh and dance in a unitard. What else do I really need? A computer - have one!

I can also type very quickly. As fast as my mind goes - and that is FAST (or slow, depending on my current neurological balance).

So, what are you waiting for BEYOTCH! Smack down the glove and ride the pony.

Go for it.

You have to use the theatre training for something useful and mocking it with delight is the perfect thing. Crash down the walls of theatre snobbery. Prance pony prance!

Whooooo.
Whoo.

Yeeelaeeeeee.

I'm tired.

teen angst poetry night & april fools

2006-03-27T13:25:00.000-08:00

I have been invited by the lovely and angst ridden Sara Bynoe to read/perform my teen angst writings!

Teen Angst Night

301 West Cordova
8pm The Annex
March 31st FRIDAY

I highly recommend you come down. CBC Radio is recording the evening and it is going to be fun fun for everyone!

Sara Bynoe has a fabulous published book of Teen Angst Poetry....she has been gathering people to read out their silliness for a couple of years now. It really is fun and will remind you of your lame but creative moments of teendom.

-------------

On Saturday April 1st at the Cambrian Hall comic pandemonium will reign supreme as director / producer David C. Jones unleashes a new comedy cabaret. Top talent and latest discoveries share the stage in a bizarre and funny spectacle.

Headliner and winner of Entertainer of the year Tracey Bell will be featured but there will also be performances from magician Brian Anderson, sawyer Doug Cameron, dancer/juggler Dianna David, comedy from Nelson Wong and performance art by Siobhan McCarthy and many more (like ME! I will be roving in character as Jezebelle") performing in a fast and furious show that will leave audiences breathless.

The evening of laughter is a fundraiser for the up-coming production called "Suspect A Game of Murder" and will feature a silent auction as well as other comedy surprises.

In Brief: The April Fools Cabaret featuring top talent and new discoveries directed by the amazing David C. Jones, Saturday April 1st.

Doors open 7pm Show at 8pm Cambrian Hall 215 East 17th (at Main). Tickets $20.

To reserve e-mail rsvp@comedyevents.ca or call 778-863-7344

closing night fun fun fun

2006-03-18T13:10:00.000-08:00

Closing night for Here Be Monsters - A Carnival of the Arts was a complete success. We drank beer, looked at art, spanked bottoms and danced the night away. There were many well dressed people - and much Storm Beer was drank....drunked...drungked.

Hope to see you next year!

Thanks to everyone who supported us. It was an event to remember.

Just goes to show you that Vancouver isn't as "lame" as some people think. We CAN actually have an arts festival that is fun and festive and rockin'.

x J

here be monsters - a carnival of the arts

2006-02-06T12:03:00.000-08:00

Siamese Twins - By Andrea Tucker

HERE BE MONSTERS: A Carnival of the Arts

March 8th to 18th - 2006
Performance Works - Granville Island

Tickets are $12-14 for shows
$10 for Emily Carr Students

Full festival Passes for $25-32

Buy them soon! just follow the link

TICKETS HERE or head down to BIZ BOOKS or Zulu Records

..... there is an art gallery (which people are loving!) for the whole festival featuring.....

Come early to check it out! Have a tasty IPA beer from our Storm Brewing Tap and enjoy the art!

Andrea Tucker
Nicole Steen & Vicki M. THE POP TARTS
Christine Bachinsky
Susan Marczak
Priscilla Costa
Pilar Alvarez
Ginger Berglund's Bread Monsters
Trinity Forbes
Travis Jones
Kevin Hubbard

March 13-18
-----------
Lazy Susan (BIG HIT from the Fringe and past Theatre Under the Gun piece)

Lazy Susan is a fantastic play which started from a Theatre Under the Gun sketch - it has now developed into a dark beautifully hilarious play about a dead chick. Really, it is HILARIOUS.....you should see it - it was SOLD out at the Fringe Festival.

March 17-18
-----------
Micetro Impro - Improv directed by Keith Johnstone

This will be a fun night of elimination style improv games directed by the man who literally invented the format of theatre "sports". Come down and join the fun. It will be unlike any theatre sports you have ever seen before. It is a rare treat for us to have Keith here actually directing the night! At 72 years old, he still can call it like it is! We can't wait!

March 17
-----------
Psychadelic simultaneous listening party of The Flaming Lips' 4 CD set ZAIREEKA (pay what you can!!)

This is where we play 4 CD's at the same time and enjoy the soundscape. Trippy fun and amazing. Pay what you can too!

MARCH 18 - Party party fun party! This is going to be a fun party with crazy people everywhere. Feel free to dress in a festive and freaky manner. Clowns permitted. We expect this to be a rockin' party with lots of energy and dancing and antics. Wear your best outfit and rock the house with your favourite wig. Be crazy!

********Our Opening night was a blast. The acts were stellar, the audience laughed and we sold lots of beer. Art was everywhere and the people were enjoying looking at it. There were hot barmaids serving beer and creative lovelies everywhere. You should have come! Oh, I almost forgot to tell you about tha man who nailed his head. It was HILARIOUS. King Kong shook her Britany Spears ass too......Hope to see you at the rest of our festival. It is going to be fun.!!!

The Cabaret was hosted by Lucky Eights and Darling - it was the final hurrah for Eights - we are going to miss him dearly.

These people performed at the cabaret-----

The Charmingly Raunchy Pussy Willows - You just wanted to hug them - and touch the one boob.

The Side-Splitting Comedy Stylings of Charlie Demers----His self effacing good for nothin' side splittin smart funny act was a dandy.

The Teen-Angst-Ridden Sara Bynoe----She rose above a cloud like a bird crying tears of love.

The Untamed Burlesque of Your Little Pony----King Kong had pasties on!~!

Brian Magic Fingers Anderson - Nailed his face and it was funny.

The Chicken-Screaming, Clown-Stripping Melody Mangler-----Rocked it hard in leggins.

The Hoop-Leaping, Tap-Dancing Christina Sicoli-----Stood tall for the power of mullet tap.

The McFerrin-influenced-improvised-vocal-gymnastic-sensation Voco Loco ---- were wonderfully funny and sweet humming goodness!

Show Off: Theatre Under the Gun Reloaded - WENT FANTASTIC!!! We were sold out almost every night! WHOOO HOO!

Thank you to all the teams who participated. It was an amazing 3 days.

Groups Performing March 9th
--------------
The Theatre Set
The Plant
The Skinny's Comedy Troupe
Up in the Air Theatre
Sam Dulmage
Royal League of Dramatics and Histrionics

Groups Performing March 10th
----------------
REIRart Productions
Tell Not Tell Collective
The Mice and Mentors Co-Op
Fidel Castro's Christmas Party
The Temporary Bon-Bon's
BroadsWay Theatre

Groups Performing March 11th
------------------
Bella Luna Productions
Old Chunks Of Fudge
Genus Theatre
Felix Culpa
Rogue Theatre
Theatre Bagger Arts Society

Special Thanks to Ginch Gonch

Events On The Move

Storm Brewing

Michael Moore Statement on Canadian Election

2006-01-23T14:49:00.000-08:00

His letter is exactly what I have been thinking. It is shocking how so may of us "liberal-minded" Canadians are voting for Stephen Harper (aka Bush's lovebuddy). It is frightening.

Michael Moore is currently in production on his next movie. As an avid lover of all things Canadian, he has issued the following statement regarding Canada's upcoming election on Monday:

Oh, Canada -- you're not really going to elect a Conservative majority on Monday, are you? That's a joke, right? I know you have a great sense of humor, and certainly a well-developed sense of irony, but this is no longer funny. Maybe it's a new form of Canadian irony -- reverse irony! OK, now I get it. First, you have the courage to stand against the war in Iraq -- and then you elect a prime minister who's for it. You declare gay people have equal rights -- and then you elect a man who says they don't. You give your native peoples their own autonomy and their own territory -- and then you vote for a man who wants to cut aid to these poorest of your citizens. Wow, that is intense! Only Canadians could pull off a hat trick of humor like that. My hat's off to you.

Far be it from me, as an American, to suggest what you should do. You already have too many Americans telling you what to do. Well, actually, you've got just one American who keeps telling you to roll over and fetch and sit. I hope you don't feel this appeal of mine is too intrusive but I just couldn't sit by, as your friend, and say nothing. Yes, I agree, the Liberals have some 'splainin' to do. And yes, one party in power for more than a decade gets a little... long. But you have a parliamentary system (I'll bet you didn't know that -- see, that's why you need Americans telling you things!). There are ways at the polls to have your voices heard other than throwing the baby out with the bath water.

These are no ordinary times, and as you go to the polls on Monday, you do so while a man running the nation to the south of you is hoping you can lend him a hand by picking Stephen Harper because he's a man who shares his world view. Do you want to help George Bush by turning Canada into his latest conquest? Is that how you want millions of us down here to see you from now on? The next notch in the cowboy belt? C'mon, where's your Canadian pride? I mean, if you're going to reduce Canada to a cheap download of Bush & Co., then at least don't surrender so easily. Can't you wait until he threatens to bomb Regina? Make him work for it, for Pete's sake.

But seriously, I know you're not going to elect a guy who should really be running for governor of Utah. Whew! I knew it! You almost had me there. Very funny. Don't do that again. God, I love you, you crazy cold wonderful neighbors to my north. Don't ever change.

Michael Moore

(Mr. Moore is not available for interviews because he now needs to address the situation in Azerbaijan. But he could be talked into it for a couple of tickets to a Leaf's game.)

female is different from male

2006-01-16T13:20:00.002-08:00

Amazing but true! The first (YES FIRST) uniquely female dummy for use in car safety tests is being developed in Sweden. All current crash test dummies are based on how men's bodies react in collisions and other accidents. It is amazing to me that it took this long before someone figured out that the big ol' manly crash test dummies were all MALE! When I was a massage therapist I saw way more women with neck, spinal injuries from motor vehicle accidents (and no, it wasn't because they are "female drivers"). Chalmers University of Technology in Gothenburg and the National Road and Transport Research Institute are researching how a female body moves as a first step in building the dummy. "For neck injuries from rear-end collisions, whiplash, the risk for women is twice as high as for men," the road institute said.

Fancy that. Actually studying how the female body moves in a traumatic accident! Yes, it is 2006. There was some preliminary research done by Volvo (Vulva) and they created the "5th-percentile Hybrid III female dummy" based on the petite 108 lb female and a pregnant dummy...based on a pregnant woman.

But, this is the first time that an average female dummy has been created.

And people think that there are no more reasons to be a feminist.

Gosh.

stairway to faggot heaven

2006-01-16T12:33:00.000-08:00

stairway to faggot heaven
Originally uploaded by brokenface.

This made me laugh so hard. I love the dramatic pose along with the obvious wig use and rainbow stairs. This is the type of person I would like to hang out with. This is the type of person who would join me in re-appropriating the word Gaylord.

This is gaylordia full on.

don't be stupid people

2006-01-04T15:42:00.000-08:00

As Canadians, we generally pride ourselves in being progressive, open-minded and liberal (the good liberal). However, apparently many of you have lost all sense of self and are reporting that you will vote for the Conservatives in the upcoming election. Now, I could say something persuasive and kind here - but, instead I am going to say this: WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY????? Stephen Harper is evil. Most women I know think he looks creepy. There is no soul in his eyes. Just LOOK!!

He is a nasty bad man who is riding on the ignorance of the masses. If you vote for Stephen Harper it is like voting for George Bush. The two of them have quite a bit in common actually. Of course, you could dismiss my opinion being that I am a red-headed lefty feminist. However, I suggest you think about it for a minute. Just a minute. Several of his members are anti-choice a.k.a. "pro-life" supporters. Need Canada go BACK IN TIME??

Here is a great article about Harper

The thing that Stephen Harper has is the vote of all the uptight people. He has the vote of the grey hairs. He also has the vote of all the racist and anti-women people. His posse is powerful because THEY GET OUT AND VOTE.

If you are of any minority and you vote for Stephen Harper, you are just like those insane women who are pro-choice who claim to be Republicans.

You have a choice in life, in Canada, to make a change in government which could, ultimately effect our country in a positive or negative manner. Mark my words - if Harper gets in things will get very bad. While economics are important, you cannot improve such on the backs of the poor.

Apathy is what will kill our country. So many people think it makes no difference to vote. Well, let me tell you that it does and it will. This upcoming election is one of the most significant elections in Canadian history and now is the time to get out and vote. Women need to vote. Young people need to vote.

How many of you don't vote? As John Stewart says, "Gosh, people in this country (meaning the USA) don't vote if it's cloudy out - in Iraq people are jumping over grenades to get out and vote". Women in burquas were voting. Women were running in the Iraqi election for Godsakes! Not that the Iraqi election was all clean and above board...but you get my point.

Anyhow, if the lefty folk don't get up off our asses and vote this time I fear Stephen Harper will win. So, please please vote this time. Its not complicated and it takes 5 minutes.

Even Marc Emery the Prince of Pot is telling people to vote for the NDP instead of the Marijuana Party. Even stoners need to vote this time.

Ok. That's it.

wierd dog

2005-12-28T12:59:00.000-08:00

wierd dog
Originally uploaded by netamir.

Recently I found this woman's art. I absolutely love the wierd dog. Don't you just want to kiss him?

kittens can obey

2005-12-21T11:10:00.000-08:00

DSC_7005
Originally uploaded by junku.

These cats are strapping in their fancy jersey outfits. I adore this photographer JUNKU. I found him on flickr and...well, the picture says it all doesn't it?

Oh, the kittens.

depression and pulled pork

2005-11-20T09:18:00.000-08:00

I apologize for being lame and not posting anything for a month or so. I have been up to my eyeballs in craziness. No real excuse, I suppose. We all have busy times. But, mine has been particularly crazy. Get this, the paper I used to write for went under. Just like that. Apparently, it was just too hard to run a paper with a woman who isn't really a sales advertising rep. How odd? Everyone was talking about this particular person and how she really just sucked at advertising. Needless to say, she wasn't at the final dinner we all had. It came at a bummer time though. The ending of the paper, I mean.

I had just had my first article posted as a headline on Google News! I did an interview with Rex Harrington called, "From Ballet to Camp" and it literally made it onto the main Google site. How insane is that! I hadn't had that happen before.

You can search the title of the article if you so desire. Personally, I have written better stuff, but - being that he is super famous I think it was made a headline for that reason. Was that bad grammar? I think so.

Anyhow, in and amongst the ending of the paper I have also been on new meds. I am an official mental illness patient, in case you didn't know. Ha.

I have been suffering with chronic depression for years. On and off I have to take meds. So, I was on a super downer - hatin' it - super sad and barely coping and had to make the jump to meds again. I am taking some new med which, so far, seems to really help. It is amazing to me how when I am off meds and depressed, I think that life just feels shitty. That it is supposed to feel that way. Once the meds kick in its like, "wow, I guess life isn't THAT shitty". I also can actually deal with life. For example, when I am depressed, I normally cannot cope with any little thing that "goes wrong". My tolerance for change is bad. I cannot concentrate at work. I get snippy rude with people for no reason. I become quite unpleasant to be around.

I have to say my husband is a superstar. I mean, I knew he was when I married him, but now that I have been through a very deep depression and literally broke down in front of him, I know for sure he is stellar. I love him so.

Work has been good too. I got a raise and a bonus. Although, I am still not making enough money. Is there enough? I deserve more. I know I do. I have been headhunted by a couple of companies which are our competition and so, this will be interesting. The next couple of months there may be a salary war...I may move to another company. I wouldn't be surprised if this happens. One of the companies has already set up a meeting with me.

By the way, I am purposely being vague. I don't want to get myself in trouble over this stuff. I would much rather have a bidding war and be the one who ends up on top!

Anyhow, I had better go pull my pork.

Non sequitur? I am known for that. I think laterally. I can't help it, I am an artist.

I have had pork in the crock pot for 12 hrs and it is ready to be shredded. Tonight there will be magical animal (as Homer says) and roasted beets and mushrooms and red chard. MMMMMM. Half healthy, half not. Just the way I like it.

x

hey, look at me, i am an idiot

2005-10-06T16:40:00.000-07:00

That is right Bush. You tell them! Cause you know those dark evil people, they are WAY worse than the NASTY RIGHT WING CHRISTIAN freaks you play ball with. Polarization will not solve the war. Oh, and haven't you figured out by now that the Islamic militants don't take well to threats. YOU, Mr. Bush, are a naive idiot.

Go away please.

No one likes you.

---------------------------

US President George Bush today accused Islamic militants of seeking to "enslave whole nations and intimidate the world" and charged they have made Iraq their main front. "The militants believe that controlling one country will rally the Muslim masses, enabling them to overthrow all moderate governments in the region and establish a radical Islamic empire that spans from Spain to Indonesia".

---------Hello! ISN'T that the same as the Americans storming into Iraq!!

In a speech before the National Endowment for Democracy, Bush likened the ideology of Islamic militants to communism. And he said they are being "aided by elements of the Arab news media that incite hatred and anti-semitism.”

---------Hey Bush - Kind of like Fox TV?

“Against such an enemy, there’s only one effective response: We never back down, never give in and never accept anything less than complete victory” Bush declared.

--------Cause that ALWAYS works. You should use that same motto to squelch school yard bullies. Hey, kids - keep kicking ass - never back down - just keep kickin' A S S. Kick his fuckin' head in. But, Mommy, this is what they taught me in school.

“We are facing a radical ideology (YOU MEAN LIKE CHRISTIAN FUNDAMENTALISTS??) with immeasurable objectives to enslave whole nations and intimidate the world,” Bush said (YOU MEAN LIKE YOU?).

Bush said the terrorists are aided by corrupt charities that direct money to terrorist activities and nations, such as Syria and Iran, calling them “allies of convenience” that back terrorists. (YOU MEAN LIKE HOW YOUR FAMILY DID FOR THE BIN LADEN'S???)

“The terrorists regard Iraq as the central front in the war against humanity. And we must recognise Iraq as the central front in our war on terror.” (YOU ARE AN IDIOT!)

go mama

2005-08-28T19:23:00.000-07:00

It was only a matter of time for the women to get really pissed off at George Bush. Once kids come home in body bags, rooting for the "freedom" in Iraq seems stale. I find it shocking that the right wing pundits seem to think that it is okay to try to silence the peace fight! The hypocrisy is madness. How can you say that your country represents freedom when all you do is try to gag the women like Cindy Sheehan? Not very "American" if you ask me. But then, what do I know. I am just a stupid Canadian who rides dogsleds.

Never underestimate the power of women - especially those who are grieving.

Check out CODEPINK if you want to join in. It is time to moblilze. Women have far more power than they think. Proof is in the pudding. Codepink were the only protestors who managed to get into the Republican Convention last year. They got in because no one suspected some nice "ladies" as crazy peace fightin' broads! I love it. Use it women, use it and bring the government to its knees. It is about time.

"How can we fight terror, when its war that's terrorizin'?" K'naan

This Canadian/African refugee is a remarkable singer. He has some very hard hitting points about war. I love him. His vibe is full of truth, peace and love all mixed up. Buy the CD, you will love him. He grew up in a warzone and finds our North American obsession with gangster rap and violence very disturbing. His words are jewels of eloquence.

Here is an article to fuel you.

In the Struggle Over the Iraq War, Women Are on the Front Line
By ELISABETH BUMILLER

WASHINGTON POST

As President Bush traveled around the country last week, he got caught up in a battle of women.

Women - mothers and widows of men killed in Iraq - were the most vocal leaders of antiwar protests in Texas, Idaho and Utah that dogged Mr. Bush all week. Another woman, Tammy Pruett, whose husband and five sons have served in Iraq, was showcased by the White House as a pro-war counterpoint.

The tableau was a striking change from the 1960's protests against the Vietnam War, when the demonstrations were largely led by young men, who were subject to the draft. Although mothers protested that war too, they were not in the forefront of the movement.

What happened in 40 years? How has that changed how the White House responds?

In interviews last week, some of the female protesters suggested that decades of feminism had pushed them more easily into leadership and public speaking roles in the antiwar vigils inspired by Cindy Sheehan, the mother of a slain soldier, who is demanding to meet with Mr. Bush in a protest outside his ranch. But they also viewed the war through the traditional prism of mothers and wives, and said that women felt the pain of loss more intensely than men.

"There's a certain ferocity in motherhood," said Celeste Zappala of Philadelphia, a co-founder of Ms. Sheehan's antiwar group, Gold Star Families for Peace, and the mother of Sgt. Sherwood Baker, a national guardsman. Sergeant Baker was killed in Baghdad in April 2004 while protecting the Iraq Survey Group, which was searching for large unconventional weapons.

Ms. Zappala, who protested against the Vietnam War in college and was a main speaker at an antiwar demonstration in Salt Lake City on Monday, added: "Maybe women feel more compelled, more empowered. Maybe it's because men in our country don't speak so easily about things that are personal and so hard."

Jean Prewitt of Birmingham, Ala., whose son, Pvt. Kelley Prewitt, died in Iraq in April 2003, said her former husband, Kelley's father, went back to work soon after their son died. "I was just a basket case," she said, adding that "we gave birth to these boys, and they didn't."

Ms. Prewitt said she voted for Mr. Bush in 2000 and initially supported the war, but turned against it after no unconventional weapons were found. "The first year I was rather numb, and then I got angry," she said.

Ms. Sheehan and the other protesters are financed in part by antiwar organizations and advised by Fenton Communications, a public relations firm based in Washington that counts advocacy groups like MoveOn.org and TrueMajority among its clients. They resent it, the protesters said, when their opponents call them agents of the left.

"I may be a grieving mother, but I'm not stupid," said Ms. Zappala, who runs a city program for the elderly in Philadelphia. "No one has to tell me what to say. And if people help me amplify myself, God bless them."

At the Texas White House, Ms. Sheehan's protests have been closely watched, and the mood there is one of concern but not yet alarm. Mr. Bush has been careful not to go on a direct attack against a publicly grieving mother like Ms. Sheehan, and has pointed out that he met with her once already, in 2004, and that he has sympathy for her and her right to protest. Still, he said last week that protesters like her were weakening the United States and emboldening terrorists, and vowed that he would not immediately withdraw all American troops from Iraq, as she has demanded.

Then, in an effort to counter the protesting women with one of their own, Mr. Bush told 9,500 military families in a speech in Nampa, Idaho, about Ms. Pruett, who has four sons serving in the National Guard in Iraq and a husband and another son who have returned from Iraq. "America lives in freedom because of families like the Pruetts," Mr. Bush said, to big applause.

In a telephone interview on Friday from her home in Pocatello, Idaho, Ms. Pruett said that the White House learned of her story through two programs on CNN. This past weekend, a picture of Mr. Bush hugging Ms. Pruett was at the top of the home page of the White House Web site.

Ms. Sheehan's supporters immediately pointed out that while there are mothers who have lost children in Iraq who still support the president, Ms. Pruett had lost none and should not be compared with them.

"Actually, I would agree with them completely," Ms. Pruett said. "I have not experienced what they experienced, and I wouldn't judge how they chose to express their grief."

Will Ms. Sheehan's movement spread? The historian Doris Kearns Goodwin, whose son, Lt. Joseph K. Goodwin, served with the First Armored Division in Baghdad, said that it was too soon to judge, and that much depended on what happened in Iraq over the next weeks. "But if more mothers and more women connect to the losses over there, it could move like wildfire across the country," Ms. Goodwin said.

Ms. Goodwin said that as hard as it was for the White House to respond to the women, it was harder to be the commander-in-chief responsible for the losses, something she learned from conversations with Lyndon Johnson after Vietnam. "He said he would wake up in the middle of the night worrying about what had happened to the bombs and who had died," she said. "It's an emotional thing for these guys, as much as we think they're stalwarts."

As for Mr. Bush, she said, "I suspect he's asking himself, 'Why didn't I just meet with her in the beginning' " of her summer protest.

praise him and strike down those who don't

2005-08-03T09:10:00.000-07:00

Another gem from my favorite San Francisco Gate Columnist, Mark Morford.

I have always found the spic-n-span Christians really scary creepy nasty evil. The amazing thing is that all the while they are preaching the L O R D they are also preaching H A T E? I don't think Jesus would be pleased. I don't think that Jesus would have been quite the miracle worker had he refused to help those who are different. I don't think that preaching hate will get anyone very far in life. They make me ill, those nasty hyper-clean GOD lovin' Christians with one hand on the bible and one hand up thier neighbour's skirt. See what Mark Morford has to say. I love him

Who Loves Creepy Megachurches? Stadium crowds, thousands of rabid devotees, all chugging Jesus like Kool-Aid. Should you be afraid?

- By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
Wednesday, August 3, 2005

I have never been to a big creepy megachurch. This is my first confession.

I have never been to, say, Lakewood Church in Houston, the biggest glossiest megachurch of all, which just dumped a staggering $75 million to renovate the former stadium for the Houston Rockets and turn it into a massive pulsing swaying arm-raisin' eye-glazed weirdly repressed House o' Jesus.

I have never been to World Changers in Georgia or New Birth Missionary Baptist in Texas or Calvary Chapel in Costa Mesa or the Potter's House in Dallas or the Phoenix First Assembly of God, et al., all of which claim well over 15,000 regional followers (some 20,000 or even 30,000) and most of which operate much more like careening multitentacled corporations than humble homes of spiritual connection and love. But, you know, quibbling.

I mention all this because megachurches are the latest phenomenon, the hottest trend in the Christian godfearin' biz, arena-scaled piety polished up and bloated out and aimed like a giant homophobic cannon straight at the gloomy face of a new and improved God, one who apparently truly loves the fact that these tacky sanitized enormo-domes are raking in an average of $5 million a year each, depending on size and girth and magnetism of their glossy preprogrammed pastors and depending on how many CDs and syrupy self-help books and movie production companies and proselytizing Web sites and recording studios and hateful radio brainwashin' programs and malicious teenage abstinence seminars they have to go along with the nearly naked virgin car-wash fund-raisers they offer up to Jesus on warm summer Sundays.

But you really don't need to attend one of these surreal spectacles to realize that most of us should kneel down right now in heartfelt gratitude that we have never been forced to endure, say, the all-paunchy-married-male revue of a Promise Keepers rally, or the bizarre pious cheerleading of a Harvest Crusade in L.A., and hence we have been blessedly devoid of the taint of guys like Greg Laurie, one of the new breed of sleek preening pastors, a strange new mutant species of pastor-CEO-huckster-salesman, who leads the big Harvest chant-alongs and who writes milky best-selling self-help books, books that claim to know something of God but that somehow never mention single-malt scotch or anal sex or Tom Waits or grinning Buddha icons or chocolate ice cream drizzled on a lover's tailbone, slowly, tantalizingly. Greg. Sweetheart. You so don't know God. I'm just sayin'.

These massive churches are, in short, redefining the Christian experience in America, growing faster in the past 20 years than even Wal-Mart has been able to destroy small towns and hope.

They are places like the New Life Church, perhaps the most powerful and frightening of all megachurches, home to the famous and heavily shellacked Pastor Ted Haggard and his 11,000 fiery Left Behind-addled throngs located in the heart of honey-let's-never-go-there Colorado Springs.

Pastor Ted, that is, with his bright red hotline straight to the White House (he and our sanctimonious, war-happy prez speak at least once a week), Pastor Ted who, along with the snarlingly pious James Dobson of the violently militant Focus on the Family sect of frothy true believers, helped terrify the Federal Communications Commission and slam women's rights and galvanize all those mad throngs of confused Christians to vote to keep Dubya in office all these shockingly impeachment-free years. Praise Jesus.

Because make no mistake, these are the churches, these are the pastors who help guide White House policy and contaminate American culture and who wish to curdle your creamy progressive open-hearted independent-minded soul into rancid cheese. These are the churches for whom BushCo tried to codify homophobia in the U.S. Constitution and for whom he appoints countless right-wing misogynist lower-court judges and nominates a neoconservative Supreme Court justice who is so white and so male and so gleamingly, blindingly conservative he might as well be Dick Cheney and Antonin Scalia's immaculate love child.

Maybe the appeal is self-explanatory. Maybe you walk into one of these stadium-sized God-huts and everyone is forcibly blissed out and everyone is just numbly patriotic and everyone is throwing hand-rolled tubes of nickels (most megachurch parishioners have very low median incomes and little more than a high school education, and the vast majority are as white as bleached teeth) into the giant golden donation vats and snatching up freshly published copies of "He Died for Your Crappy Little Sins so Put Down the Porn and Listen Up, Sicko," and the vibe is so amped and the Jesus mania is so potent you'd think it's a Michael Jackson concert circa 1991 and you're McCauley Culkin and everyone is made of glitter and cocaine and disquieting apprehension.

Is this the appeal? The narcotic of delirious crowds? The intoxicating caught-up-in-it-ness? The drug of mass self-righteousness, sterilized and homogenized for easy suppository-like karmic insertion?

Or is it the Jesus-as-megastar thing, with the pastor as the ultimate cover band and his flock a teeming mass of fans who don't really understand the lyrics and get the message almost completely wrong and yet who are, you just know, good and honest people just trying to find their way in a lost and debauched and war-torn land? I saw AC/DC and Iron Maiden on a double bill in Spokane in 1983 and just about saw God. Is that the same thing? No?

Of course, people want to belong. People are desperate to connect to something, anything, bigger than themselves, something that professes to have answers to questions they don't even know how to ask. Especially now, especially when the country's identity is imploding and moral codes are deliciously evolving and we are no longer the gleaming righteous superpower we always thought we were and instead are much more the fat self-righteous playground thug no one likes.

And yes, well do I know that many of these creepy megachurches do fine social work indeed (mostly as, it must be said, an afterthought); many engage in worthwhile charities and community renovations and outreach programs and they help a surprisingly large number of confused and deeply lost white American souls to discover some sort of sense of place in this bitch-slapped Bush-stabbed world. I know it's true.

But this doesn't seem to be the real reason megachurches are flourishing, the real reason for their frightening and viral upsurge. It is more than the power of technology, more than newfound Christian marketing savvy, more than just how so many Christians apparently love to conflate going to church with, say, a Cowboys football game.

I think it's actually something far more interesting, and hopeful, and maybe even enchanting. Here it is: Maybe these megachurches are not, in fact, a sign that the United States is coagulating like a tumor to the Right, but, in fact, they indicate the exact opposite.

Maybe megachurches are, in short, an anxious and massively quivering reaction to a hot divine upsurge, one they can't quite comprehend and which makes their eyeballs shudder and their loins burn; their existence is irrefutable proof that something divinely radical is afoot, a massive sea change, a karmic mutiny, with the churches acting merely as a sleek and desperate defense. You think?

In other words, maybe these delirious throngs of blind believers are merely a trembling shield masquerading as a sleek salvation, vainly attempting to protect themselves from the onslaught of, oh I don't know, divine self-definition? An orgasm of radical sticky nontheistic cosmic beauty? A goddess with a bright red tongue and a wry knowing grin and an appetite for destruction? Let us pray.

folk off you mother folker

2005-07-15T16:53:00.000-07:00

The Vancouver International Folk Festival is happening again and I am stoked. Most people, if naive about the festival, think it is filled with hippies who have bad BO and that you are forced to listen to environmentalists drone on and on while singing to a badly tuned guitar. This is wrong! It is a fabulous festival with a huge range of music and a great atmosphere. I have been attending since I was a child and every year is different, every year has these incredible moments (particularly at the jam workshops) where unlikely pairing happen and phenomenal music busts out at you. One year I saw a banjo player and a throat singer and a DJ all rock out together...It...rocked...rockin rocker rocker! Can you tell I am excited???

I expect to have a great time again.

I will make a list of the best music to get after I listen and dance my ass off. I am excited to hear K'naan, Feist, The Grande Mothers and more.

Will get back soon.

Must warm up before hippy dancing continuously for 2 days.

Note to self.

i am going to hell

2005-06-27T21:27:00.000-07:00

Holy Mother Of God Or Jesus Of Mary Fucking Shit Whore! It is fucking absurd that this is even happening. Who the hell are you telling me who or who not to believe in! Oh, and don't go thinking that I was fooled by that insane "reasoning". Stop thinking with your dicks.

---------------------------

Top U.S. court split on Ten Commandments

CBC News

A divided U.S. Supreme Court has drawn a wavering line on where courts and governments may display the Ten Commandments:

On legislature grounds and other government land, yes.

On courthouse walls, maybe – but not if the main aim is to promote religion.

In two cases decided on Monday, the court dealt with an increasingly emotional clash between surging Christian belief and a constitutional requirement to separate church and state.

It ruled that a six-foot monument inscribed with the Ten Commandments on the grounds of the Texas Capitol does not violate the U.S. Constitution, but that displays of the same Old Testament laws in Kentucky county courthouses do.

The Kentucky displays, which date from 1999, at first included only the Ten Commandments.

County officials later added such items as the motto "In God We Trust" and a citation from the Congressional Record declaring 1983 the "Year of the Bible." After a setback in a legal battle with civil libertarians, they erected a new display including such documents as the U.S. Bill of Rights and the lyrics to The Star-Spangled Banner.

By a 5-4 majority, the court ruled that the expanded display was a "sham" attempting to disguise a religious purpose.

"The touchstone for our analysis is the principle that the First Amendment mandates government neutrality between religion and religion, and between religion and non-religion," Justice David Souter wrote for the majority.

The state may not act "with the ostensible and predominant purpose of advancing religion." he said.

Even so, the ruling allows displays of the Ten Commandments if they are portrayed neutrally to illustrate legal roots.

In a bitter dissent, Justice Antonin Scalia accused his colleagues of indulging in judicial whims, "ruling now this way, now that — thumbs up or thumbs down — as their personal preferences dictate." He argued that Ten Commandments displays are a legitimate tribute to the nation's history and therefore are acceptable.

The court was likewise split 5-4 on the Texas monument, but the majority in that case favoured allowing it. It is one of 17 historical displays on the legislature grounds.

"Of course, the Ten Commandments are religious – they were so viewed at their inception and so remain. The monument therefore has religious significance," Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist wrote for the majority.

Even so, he said, "simply having religious content or promoting a message consistent with a religious doctrine does not run afoul of the Establishment Clause."

In a dissenting opinion, Justice John Paul Stevens noted that the monument proclaims in large letters "I AM the LORD thy God."

"The monument is not a work of art and does not refer to any event in the history of the state," Stevens wrote. "The message transmitted by Texas' chosen display is quite plain: This state endorses the divine code of the Judeo-Christian God."

bouncy, bouncy, fun, fun fun, fun, fun

2005-06-26T18:37:00.000-07:00

Oh, God.....the voice of Tigger died today. I loved tigger. I particularly loved how he was persistent and annoying but lovable and bouncy. His voice, performed by Paul Winchell, was one of the most accurate voice characterizations in animation history.

---------------------

Paul Winchell a ventriloquist, children's television show host and long-time voice behind Tigger in animated versions of "Winnie the Pooh," has died. He was 82.

Burt Du Brow, a television producer and close family friend, tells the Los Angeles Times that Winchell died early Friday morning in his sleep at his home in Moorpark, California.

Winchell parlayed his talent for creating countless voices over six decades. But he was perhaps best known for his work as the voice of the lovable animated tiger created by AA Milne.

Before he began working on cartoons, Winchell started his career as a ventriloquist. He eventually brought dummies Jerry Mahoney and Knucklehead Smith to life on television.

Winchell was also an inventor who held 30 patents, including one for an early artificial heart he built in 1963.

crazy blog ness

2005-06-10T23:59:00.000-07:00

Okay.

Somebody please explain to me why this recent post is fine on a PC but, views all gobbledygooky if I am on my mac??

What the hell?

Jen

joplin on the half moon

2005-06-06T21:49:00.000-07:00

“Aren’t you a little old, darling? Joplin is a younger woman’s show, don’t you think?” A well-known local artistic director told two-time Jessie award-winner, actor/singer Jan Kudelka this when she was in her late forties. She was approaching various theatre types with her Janis Joplin show idea—she had the pipes and the resume—but not one person was a taker. No one had seen her “do” Janis, so they had no sense of the scope of extraordinary expression she had inside her—or, more likely they were just too chicken.

Last year, I saw Kudelka do her tribute show, “Janis/Janus” at The Waterfront Theatre, and it brought me to tears in the first 5 minutes. Her ability to hit the key “Janis Joplin” notes along with the gut-wrenching, soul screamin’ emotional expression was cathartic and committed. She is a tough-ass, kick-you-in-the-solar-plexus kind of woman. It’s rare that a musical theatre performance is so wrought with intensity and beauty. While Vancouver is blessed with a long list of performers with genius-level talent, it isn’t too often we get to see work cranked to a Spinal Tap eleven.

Kudelka’s technical power as a singer is deep and thick with Southern Comfort grit. It will take you back, even if you weren’t there in the first place or were too high to remember it. Ironically, I had no sense of her age when I saw “Janis/Janus” last year and had I known, I wouldn’t have cared. As a matter of fact, I think Kudelka being 52 makes it even better—she can hold it. “I feel that am old enough to hold the energy of those songs without them destroying me now. You have to take it into your gut. I don’t believe that I am the “only” person on earth who can sing like [Joplin]. There are others…It would be egotistical of me to say that, but… I am somehow connected with her, that is for sure,” she confesses.

“Janis/Janus” has been in the making since 1980. After Kudelka’s successful one-woman-show, “The True Tale of Circus Gothic” ended, it was an off-handed comment from a friend (“you should do a Joplin show—you have the qualities”), that made Kudelka decide to sit down and write some Janis-inspired poetry. While she wrote, she listened to her two favourite Joplin albums, Pearl and Big Brother & The Holding Company, and suddenly a huge lightning storm broke. The electricity made for a terrifying but powerful experience. “The lightning was as if [Joplin] had arrived… like, ‘boom!’ There she was, and I wrote ten poems in about an hour,” Kudelka says smiling. “You write a lot more poetry before 28 years old than after 28.”

After the storm-inspired writing session in 1980, Kudelka put the poems in a drawer for a while. Occasionally, she thought of putting music to them, and then thought, “no, I can’t do this—I will die in an alley—I can’t go there.” She staged the poems without music for a while, and they rattled around in her life and continued to transform it. At this point, she moved from Toronto to BC’s Shuswap. One night she went to a rural growers’ ball and decided to get up on stage with the band and sing “Piece of my Heart.” The people went nuts and she found herself ‘in’ Joplin again. “The guitar player said ‘we should do this.’ Then I checked my watch—it was 13 years later.”

Once again, Kudelka began again to connect her writing with the songs, and unfortunately, ended up burnt out at the end of a short run. Audiences were saying they liked it, but that they also found it disturbing. She couldn’t sleep, she was drinking too much and found herself sleeping with strangers. Something needed to change. She then asked her friend Jimmy Tait to help out. He took the script and went deep into her basement with lots of cigarettes and beer. Four days later, he had tweaked the piece and stirred it up without losing a single word. All she lacked was the musical accompaniment, which proved difficult and time-consuming to organise. In the face of still more obstacles, enthusiasm waned.

A few years later, Kudelka was living with a man who asked “why do you have 500 pictures of yourself as Janis Joplin?” Her interest piqued once more, she started the search for a backing band in earnest. Finally, she found them in Linda Kidder (who has played with k.d. lang), Richard Baker and Wally Watson (formerly of Doug and the Slugs). Thus came the education of Jan Kudelka out of the theatre and into rock ‘n’ roll. “I went to this one acting class where I had to play some lawyer lady—audition skills—and two of the 5 people doing the critique said, ‘you know, there is a Janis Joplin quality to you.’ So finally, I thought—shit, I can’t dodge it anymore. I have to do this.” Her raspy laugh cuts through the room.

The show (which plays for one night only, Saturday the 11th) is loosely about a woman who “thinks” she is Joplin and speaks in a transformed version of the poems she wrote years ago. The verses Kudelka herself wrote thread in and out of the classic Joplin songs, and because the words are hers, there is a fullness not found in a traditional biography. You’ll find no Vegas Joplin here, baby. Kudelka has fought, blossomed, screamed, cried, and healed her way to this show, and she deserves success. “Janis/Janus” is the real thing.

“Janis/Janus” by Jan Kudelka
Commodore Ballroom
Saturday, June 11th
Doors: 8 PM, Show: 9:30

poet lady

2005-05-19T19:58:00.000-07:00

Katha Pollitt

IS

THE

POET

OF

THE

DAY

I love her. Her journalistic style is represented at the bottom of the page of the link. I just love her bio.

Any woman who revels in the fact that Camille Paglia has said that she hopes, "she burns in hell" - is fine by me.

RAPTURE

It is just as they knew it would be
the proof
of their rightness spread around them
like grass or sidewalks

among the bland custardy palaces
and picnic tables
of their reward. The air
smells of children and coconuts.
Truth blares from every station on the dial.

Do they miss dogs, the black
squelch of November, bittersweet
wringing its red hands?
Are they saddened

to meet an old love without pain
in the gilded silent grove
that lately, come to think of it,
has been looking rather dusty,
and where less and less often
they feel someone watching?

The angels are kind,
like waiters, but not very talkative.

No wonder they gather, like exiles
straining toward faint reports
crackling up from below -
war, disaster, stars plunging into the sea.

God, it appears, is elsewhere, as always.

hey, its on the news so believe it

2005-05-14T17:17:00.000-07:00

This is our Premier of the Province. He was drunk on multiple martinis on his holiday and was pulled over by the cops in Hawaii. If he were the leader of ANY other party in our province, he would have been turfed out in a second. He is a criminal and a liar. Oh, and...he is creepy! The ladies think he is creepy.....

Okay, we have a Provincial election coming up and I am embarrassed to say that I have friends who DIDN'T VOTE the last time. There is no excuse for this. It is a right that should not be ignored. Our current government are basing their campaign on lies and the more the media perpetuate it - the MORE people start to believe it.

S0 - if you were considering voting for the Liberal party because you thought that they brought BC out of the brink of financial doom....read up....read the truth and THEN make your choice.

Always judge a society by how they treat the downtrodden.

No excuses this time people, please vote.

Remember the NDP’s Supposed $5 Billion 'Structural Deficit'?

The story behind the big headlines that served their purpose four years ago.
By Will McMartin --- Published: May 14, 2005
Tyee.ca

West Vancouver’s Tim Duholke is a respected chartered accountant who has an ownership interest in numerous public and private companies, including lumber remanufacturing, the cellular telephone industry, clothing manufacturing and distribution, technology, and much more.

Duholke also has more than a passing interest in politics. In May 2000, for example, in anticipation of the general election that put Gordon Campbell in the premier’s office, one of his companies, Ayers Capital Corp. (later transformed into CHK Wireless Technologies Inc, and now GridSense Systems Inc.), donated $2,250 to the B.C. Liberal party.

Fast-forward to early 2005. With another general election in the offing, Duholke thought he had more to offer than merely cutting a cheque for the Liberal party, and so put his name forward for the nomination in West Vancouver-Garibaldi, his home riding made vacant when Ted Nebbeling opted to retire.

But Duholke was out-manoeuvred by Liberal back-roomers who favoured former polling maven Joan McIntyre. They ruled that Tim could neither sell memberships nor make speeches to the party faithful, and to no one’s surprise, Joan had handily bested Tim when the ballots were counted.

It was a shabby way to treat a loyal party supporter. But Duholke was much more than that, for in the early days of the Liberal government, he had served on the Fiscal Review Panel, an "independent" body appointed by Campbell to examine the province’s finances.

Despite the fact that Campbell received briefing binders from finance bureaucrats stating that the defeated NDP government had left a record-breaking surplus of $1.5 billion on the province’s books (a fact later confirmed by the auditor general), the new premier was loath to acknowledge or credit his political foes’ fiscal policies.

Duholke and his panel colleagues obliged by providing Campbell with an analysis alleging that B.C. faced a future deficit — three years after the NDP was turfed from office — of more than $5.2 billion. Armed with this "independent" report, Campbell and the Liberals repeatedly declared they had "inherited" a horrendous "structural deficit" from the incompetent New Democrats. That assertion, unquestionably reported by the news media, is passionately believed by many British Columbians.

Commission of friends

Campbell and the Liberals had won the election with a New Era platform pledging "a comprehensive audit of the province’s finances within 90 days" of forming government. The Liberal leader also suggested that the size of his promised "dramatic" tax cut depended on the audit’s findings: "It would be irresponsible for me to suggest what the tax cut will be," said Campbell, "until I know what the status of the books are."

So on May 25, 2001, nine days after winning B.C.’s biggest-ever legislative majority, Campbell appointed a commission to conduct "an independent review of the province’s fiscal situation." Heading the panel was Gord Barefoot, a chartered accountant and executive at B.C. Gas Inc (later renamed Terasen), which along with its affiliates and subsidiaries contributed about $40,000 to the B.C. Liberals in the five years leading up to the 2001 general election. (And much more since.)

In addition to the chair and Duholke, at least two other members of the Barefoot panel also either owned or worked for companies that made sizeable cash contributions to the B.C. Liberals. The "independence" of the commission certainly was open to question.

But mere days after being appointed, the panel’s utility or value also seemed questionable. On June 6, Campbell and finance minister Gary Collins announced a 25% cut to personal income tax rates. With the financial audit barely got underway, the Liberals brought in tax cuts which cost the provincial treasury $1.5 billion annually.

If neither "independent" nor necessary, just what was the purpose of the fiscal review panel?

There is an old political tradition in British Columbia, whereby newly-elected governments attempt to discredit their defeated predecessors for alleged fiscal incompetence. The Socreds and NDP have done it, and so have other parties. Usually it involves some sort of review by accountants (see sidebar at end of story).

So Gordon Campbell and his newly-elected Liberal government merely followed history when they appointed Barefoot, Duholke and the others to conduct an "independent" review of B.C.’s finances.

Tough case to make

But a unique challenge faced the Barefoot panel. The B.C. Liberals took office at the beginning of June 2001, just two months into the new fiscal year. The books for 2000-01 were closed, under audit, and could not be retroactively altered.

Even worse for the new government, when the 2000-01 public accounts were made public, they would show that the defeated NDP had left the biggest surplus in B.C. history. It would not be possible for the incoming Campbell government to claim they had inherited a deficit from the New Democrats based on audited financial statements.

Moreover, fiscal 2001-02 was already underway. But the budget estimates had not been passed, and an ‘interim supply’ bill provided funds only until the end of July. The Liberals, therefore, had to return to the legislature and obtain approval to spend monies for the balance of the fiscal period. How was it possible to claim that the NDP had created a massive deficit when they had been in power for mere weeks of the fiscal year, and the B.C. Liberals for the remaining 10 months?

Barefoot, Duholke and their colleagues found an innovative solution to this dilemma. Unable to cite a New Democratic Party deficit for the past or the present, they skillfully projected a massive shortfall for the future. In other words, they ignored the previous fiscal year, 2000-01, and the current year, 2001-02, and instead created a NDP deficit for 2003-04 — three years after the New Democrats had suffered defeat.

They started with a three-year forecast of the consolidated revenue fund from the NDP’s final budget, cutting revenues by about $1 billion while raising expenditures by about $1.5 billion. In effect, where the NDP’s three-year forecast showed a balanced budget in 2003-04, now was a deficit of $2.52 billion.

Then they turned to the ‘forecast allowance.’ This device was introduced in the late 1990s to act as a fiscal ‘cushion.’ (It was not intended to be spent, but counted as an expenditure at the beginning of the fiscal year should a potential shortfall in revenues or an unplanned expense arise.) Most NDP forecast allowances were about one-and-a-quarter percent of consolidated revenue fund expenditures, but the Liberal panel claimed that it should be 4.5% in fiscal 2003-04. That was $1.25 billion, which, again, was not meant to be spent but nonetheless was listed as an expense.

From these two sources — changes to the consolidated revenue fund of $2.52 billion, and a revised forecast allowance of $1.25 billion — the commission was able to create a $3.75 billion-plus deficit to appear three years into the future.

Incredibly, to this figure they added another $1.5 billion representing the revenues lost as a result of the B.C. Liberals cuts in personal income tax rates. In effect, the defeated NDP was blamed for the deficit arising from B.C. Liberal tax cuts!

In total, the deficit which the Liberal fiscal panel “projected” was a massive $5.27 billion. A supportive headline soon appeared in The Vancouver Sun — "B.C. risks $5-billion in 3 years" — which gave credence to the claim that the Campbell government had “inherited” a massive deficit from the NDP. It was a masterful job.

A $5 billion mirage

The Liberals’ response to this supposed “structural” deficit in their July 30 mini-budget was to cut corporate taxes by a further $700 million, and increase expenditures by nearly half a billion dollars. Strange.

A massive deficit soon appeared, not surprisingly. But it was because the Liberals’ tax cuts reduced revenues by more than $2 billion while spending was increased by a similar amount. When recession hit, BC was in a huge hole. None of it had anything to do with the New Democrats.

Even more puzzling, no Liberal budget has ever contained a forecast allowance in the consolidated revenue fund of 4.5% as their own Barefoot commission had prescribed. Indeed, the Liberal forecast allowances have been even lower than NDP cushions, usually $100 million to $300 million.

But all this is known long after the alarm bell headlines ran in the BC papers and served their purpose to discredit the NDP.

And sadly, the contribution of Tim Duholke and his fellow panel members is unknown to most British Columbians. It certainly seems to have been forgotten by the Liberals, who gladly accepted his financial support, but rejected his bid for a seat in the legislature.

wow, it totally looks like you know how to play guitar

2005-05-10T09:19:00.000-07:00

By mistake, I discovered that there is a rockin' world of air guitar champs out there. We all know them and, can appreciate them. My husband is one, but, for some reason when he does it I can't handle it. It is just too rockin'. Apparently, there are air guitar championships all over the world. The competitors dress in full gear (tiger leggins' and runners!) and then...rock out air guitar style. In the UK they have a huge contest and every year hundreds flock to watch the rockers rock. Its fuckin rockin!

Today, make it your goal to search air guitar in google... you will not be dissapointed. Especially, if you do an image search.

There are so many incredible examples of people rockin' out with the rocker face and rocker pose.

Check out these boys! They are called "Triple Slash".

This guy BELIEVES it!

Random Website of the day....

Fancy Ketchup

my eyes, they burn....

2005-05-06T08:54:00.000-07:00

THIS made me laugh. I had been thinking the exact thing.

13.7 Million Watch Corey Clark Sing on ABC --- By Lisa de Moraes --- Washington Post

Nearly 14 million people had to stick their heads in a vat of lye to disinfect their eyes and ears after witnessing booted "American Idol" contestant Corey Clark discuss his alleged affair with judge Paula Abdul on "Primetime Live" on Wednesday.

Then they woke up the next day only to discover he was infesting the entire TV landscape, and they had to get out the disinfectant again.

Armed with Clark, ABC won the Wednesday 10 p.m. hour for the first time this season against original episodes of "CSI: NY" and "Law & Order."

The 13.7 million who tuned in to hear what Clark had to say about Abdul is nearly double the number of people the newsmagazine averages on Thursday, its regular berth.

It's also a hefty hike relative to ABC's Wednesday 10 p.m. season average of just under 9 million viewers.

During the broadcast, Clark, who was one of 12 finalists on the singing competition's second season, told ABC News reporter John Quiñones that he began a relationship with Abdul when there were 32 wannabes in the running, after she slipped him her phone number, via an assistant. (Clark's appearance on the newsmag coincides with a book proposal he's hawking and the release of his new album, including the single "Paula-tics," about his alleged relationship with Abdul.)

The next morning, Clark hit the air on ABC's "Good Morning America," Fox News Channel's "Studio B With Shepard Smith," CNBC's "The Big Idea With Donny Deutsch" and the syndicated show "Extra," while the Reporters Who Cover Television ruminated as to whether the "Idol" producers, who have booted competitors (including Clark) for withholding information about tawdry chapters from their pasts, will stand by Abdul.

On "Good Morning America," Clark insisted he's not attacking Abdul: "She just happens to be the key to getting this 900-pound gorilla off my back."

On "Studio B," Clark said "American Idol" has "done a great job of defaming my name and throwing a lot of mud at me for the past two years. So that set up a lot of roadblocks for me. You know, I lost a deal at Jive Records thanks to them."

"How did that happen?" host Shep Smith asked.

"They sent over a pretty harsh e-mail just basically saying, yeah, I was a talented dude but I was hard to deal with when I was on the show, and a lot of the things I was doing on the show were, you know, right business moves -- I just wasn't letting them exploit me or my fellow contestants. . . . And they came up with some bull-mess to get me out of there with it."

(The "bull-mess" he's referring to was his having been arrested for allegedly assaulting his then-15-year-old sister and resisting arrest and then not telling the "Idol" producers about it beforehand. The producers kicked Clark off the show after discovering this information.)

On Deutsch's CNBC show Clark claimed the producers had "psychiatrists" who were there "under the guise of helping [contestants] and what they were doing, [Abdul] let me know, was juicing information from contestants to turn around to sell back to the tabloids and, you know, make the show a soap opera, you know what I'm saying?"

But, best of all, on "Extra" Clark insisted his kiss-and-tell is good for Abdul:

"This makes her bigger than the show, which is something that she wanted."

He also predicted the producers of "Idol" would not sack her.

"She shouldn't get fired. They are keeping felons on the show. She didn't do nothing but have sex with someone. Everybody has sex . . . they should keep her."

Yesterday morning, Fox and the "Idol" folks announced they were conducting their own investigation into Clark's allegations that Abdul helped him select songs, pick out his clothes and had sex with him.

"We have concerns about the motives behind last night's purported news special, as much of it was filled with rumor, speculation and assertions from a disqualified contestant who admitted during the special to telling lies," Fox, FreemantleMedia and 19 Entertainment said in the statement.

"Regardless, we are absolutely committed to the fairness of this competition. We take any accusations of this nature very seriously, no matter their source, and we have already begun looking into them." The statement also said Clark has not yet cooperated with Fox's in-house investigation.

"Despite documented procedures and multiple opportunities, as well as contractual requirements for contestants to raise any concerns, we were never notified or contacted by Mr. Clark or any other individual, nor presented any evidence concerning these claims," the statement said. "Upon recently hearing rumors of Mr. Clark's claims, we contacted him and requested that he detail his accusations to us. That has yet to happen."

Clark said on "Primetime Live" that he will not help Fox investigate any of the charges he's made.

"I don't have any intention of helping 'American Idol' out whatsoever, because they . . . haven't helped me out whatsoever," said the man who for two days has had the spotlight on him entirely because he was once a contestant on "American Idol."

crazy crazy

2005-04-22T14:08:00.000-07:00

Here is a very interesting article that really hits the nail on the head for me. My Mom and I were talking about this exact topic last night. This idea that if you have a baby you will automatically put career second and that somehow you are evil if you don't find being a Mom "fully satisfying" is driving women to insanity. No wonder "Generalized Anxiety Disorder" is so popular.

I think that many women of our generation are under the misconception that motherhood instantly negates intellectual motivation and career interest. I just don't buy it. I don't have kids yet, but I certainly cannot see my interest in things "adult" melt away all for the sake of Sesame Street and diapers. Oh, and NO you are not evil if you want more than motherhood....and your kids won't be fucked up if you don't spend every waking hour with them.

I suspect that many Mom's are bored with kidstuff and really crave adult stimulation and, I think, keep it a secret. Just because you give birth doesn't mean that your brain comes out of your body. Being a Mom is not everything, nor should it be. This concept that Motherhood is the be-all OVER career and other things totally negates feminism. The worst part is that it is women who are perpetuating this myth.

I had a friend who had post-partum depression and the only way she could deal with it was to sleep at her friends house every night. Her husband took care of baby at night while she slept. She took care of baby during the day. Many people would see this as selfish. I see it as smart. She valued her health and chose to do what she needed to do to get by. I also know of women who returned to work when baby was 3 months...and, baby was fine. Many would criticize her for this. I do not. Read on and let me know what you think.

American Mothers' Anxiety Sparks 'Perfect Madness' ---- Wed Apr 20,10:14 AM ET

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - American women are anxious these days and no wonder: They've been vilified as inadequate mothers, desperate housewives, lackluster academic scientists and -- most rudely -- too fat to be French. These characterizations have come in guilt-edged packaging on television, in newspapers and a raft of non-fiction books about the plight of U.S. women in the 21st century. One of the most celebrated new works takes aim at the fallacy of having it all as a mother. Author Judith Warner dubbed the problem, and her book, "Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety." It isn't just about the challenges of motherhood, Warner said in a Reuters interview. Rather, it's a revisiting of the same kinds of frustration American women voiced in the first wave of modern feminism, back in the 1960s.

Warner, an American who lived in France for the births of her two daughters, returned to the United States to find a complicated, expensive, often baffling world, where grown women dressed in the same styles as their children, were too tired to think about sex and felt compelled to spend their evenings at such child-centered events as Girl Scout cookie meetings.

She re-read "The Feminine Mystique," Betty Friedan's ground-breaking 1963 book outlining the dissatisfactions of American women in the mid-20th century, "just to see what parallels I could find."

"I was shocked by the degree to which women's inner monologues were similar," Warner said. "The world had changed enormously since the early '60s, but the kind of pressure that women put on themselves, the kind of failure they felt like they were always facing, was very, very similar." The first chapter of Friedan's book was called "The Problem That Has No Name," and described the American woman's life: "As she made the beds, shopped for groceries, matched slipcover material, ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffeured Cub Scouts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night -- she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question -- 'Is that all?"' For the women in Warner's book, though, the question seems to be, "Will anything ever be enough?"

As Warner wrote of contemporary mothers: "The moms' lives were punctuated by boxer shorts on the floor and quilt-making at school, carpooling and play dates and mother-daughter book clubs, and getting in to see the right dentist ... and, and, and, layer after layer of trivia and absurdity that sometimes made them feel like they were going out of their heads."
An earlier generation of American women seemed able to deal with the demands of work and family, but Warner said this latest wave of post-baby boom mothers is different.

WONDERFUL HUSBANDS, BUT ...

"We inherited a world that was created for us by women in the generation right before us, without really seeing any of the struggles or battles that went into creating that world," Warner said. "We've been a very competitive generation, a very materialistic generation and a very perfectionistic generation. and we bring all of that into motherhood now."
Husbands -- who were supposed to be part of the feminist push to give women more choices -- came in for their share of criticism from the dozens of women Warner interviewed. In one chapter called "Wonderful Husbands," the women in Warner's coffee groups almost uniformly begin sentences about their spouses with the phrase, "I have a wonderful husband, but ..." and then proceed to trash the man's domestic incompetence and overweening sex drive. Warner's book -- which was splashed on the cover of Newsweek magazine and the front of The New York Times Book Review -- is among a rising chorus of media mentions of problems for some of America's most publicly visible women. On television, there are the outwardly enviable and inwardly twisted lives of the fictional "Desperate Housewives." A typical scene shows one wife in nothing but a fur coat and red lingerie, interrupting a heavy-breathing session to make sure a messy sandwich doesn't fall off the nightstand. In academe, there is the mess at Harvard University, where President Lawrence Summers caused a furor in January by suggesting that intrinsic differences between the sexes may help explain why so few women work in the academic sciences. In the corporate realm, the ouster of Hewlett-Packard chief Carly Fiorina and the much-monitored prison term of Martha Stewart were long-term front-page fare. One non-fiction best-seller is unlikely to make American women's anxiety go away any time soon.

In "French Women Don't Get Fat," Mireille Guiliano, the CEO of Cliquot Inc., tells how she looked like "a sack of potatoes" -- a big restaurant-size sack -- after spending time in the United States. She slimmed down when she returned to her native France; her book is a light-hearted instruction manual on how to combat the "American way of eating."

quit drinkin' all that water

2005-04-14T12:06:00.000-07:00

For years, I have been wondering if all the "first world country" water drinking would get out of hand. People everywhere are chugging at an alarming pace. You cannot walk down the street without seeing someone drinking out of a water bottle. I don't remember anyone doing this when I was a teenager. It is a new trend. I understand that drinking water is good for you. I get that. But, our general understanding of dehydration is distorted. How many times have you heard people say, "Oh, I am so dehydrated". Yah, whatever...it's called being thirsty. There is a significant difference. I have had people tell me to drink water if I have a migraine. As if drinking water helps migraines!! Right. If that worked, my migraine meds would not cost $53 for 3 pills. Yes, I said $53.

So, while I respect the concept of water drinking. I am glad to hear that there has been confirmation that you can actually drink too much water. A recent study conducted by Dr. Almond at the Harvard Medical School & Boston Children's Hospital concluded that many marathon runners are drinking wayyyy too much. This strains the body and....get this, it can kill you!

The runners were weighed before and after the race and 13% consumed too much liquid. The post marathon weight gain was from 4.5 - 11 lbs! HOLY CRAP. Now, that is a lot of water.

The full article is here
I have never been a water drinker. I do it if I am exercising...I might drink a litre while doing something strenuous. But, other than that, I drink juice. I certainly don't have 8 glasses a day. Never have. This arbitrary number is silly anyhow. Shouldn't water consumption be based on your body weight and how much you are sweating? I have seen references to this theory and it makes way more sense to me.

Here's some more info

I think that the next study should be comparative and look at desert culture people and city people. It would be interesting.

Sometimes, we can just be so fuckin stupid, eh?

tell it like it is sister

2005-04-04T09:22:00.000-07:00

Former nun slams Pope's views on women, contraception

TORONTO - While the Pope is being hailed by some as a fighter for human rights and social justice, a Canadian author and former nun is critical of the Pope's views on the role of women in the Roman Catholic Church.

Joanna Manning, co-founder of a group called Catholic Organizations for Renewal, says John Paul II tried to re-establish the traditional virtues of women as being humble, subordinate and nurturing.

"In fact, he introduced a whole new doctrine of femininity into the Church where women's role in Christianity was to be that of the Virgin Mary rather than Christ, which not only is a travesty of theology but it's also quite dangerous in the effects that it can have on women's lives."

Manning told CBC Newsworld that while the Pope tried to get into synch with the women's movement, it was in "a very limited and often troubling way."

"I think partly because of his background, with having very little experience with women. His mother died when he was very small and I think he projected a lot of his longing for a maternal figure onto women in general.

"But I think also, he surrounded himself with a cadre of celibate male advisers, men who had never really lived with women as equals."

Manning says the Pope didn't listen to people with valid theological grounds for opposing his doctrine that keeps women out of the priesthood.

Manning says the Pope's firm stand against allowing women to become priests gives indirect support to men all over the world to direct the lives of women, "to tell them what to wear, how to speak, and so on."

"But more than that, at the United Nations, for example, the Pope has used his power to stop women getting access to vital means for their health, such as contraception and AIDS prevention, and I hold him responsible by the adamant refusal that he has put on the use of condoms to prevent AIDS.

"This has been death dealing to the lives of women and children throughout the world, and I think that is a terrible legacy that he leaves and one which the next pope will have to change."

carb monster shut down

2005-03-30T09:52:00.000-08:00

I am outraged. If you can believe it, Sesame Street has made a horrific decision to modify the message of the beloved Cookie Monster! Apparently, they don't want to give the message that cookies are an everyday food, so, they are incorporating a song that Cookie Monster will sing that involves saying "cookies are a sometimes food". He is becoming the Carrot Monster. Sesame Street feel that because obesity is such an issue in the USA that they are responsible for letting out healthy positive messages about food.

WHAT CRAP!

I have created a PETITION online for this. Please sign it and send the link to your friends.

http://www.petitiononline.com/cmonster/petition.html

We all watched Cookie Monster in his heyday and none of us ate "more" cookies. As a matter of fact, I remember making the connection that if you eat cookies all of the time, you will be hyper and crazy like Cookie Monster! A wise realization for a child. Children are much smarter than the producers of Sesame Street think. As a matter of fact, if they are worried about getting fat - don't you think Cookie Monster is a good role model? He eats cookies and then he runs around. He is active. He doesn't woof back the cookies and sit on the sofa, does he?

Our world has gone insane. I suspect that some Aktins freak at Sesame Street headquarters has decided that she cannot deal with the cookies any more. She has starved herself to the point of insanity and must pass on the politically correct message to the world. She feels deprived because she hasn't eaten refined sugar for month and she has chosen to take it out on Cookie Monster. This is not fare for Cookie Monster. The poor blue fellow is the way he is BECAUSE he eats the cookies! Just think back and you will be hard pressed to remember him in any other way than all hyper and happy and crazy for COOOOKIES! This is his role in life. He is the COOKIE MONSTER FOR GOD SAKES!!

Sesame Street Website

With the current health regime our googly eyed blue fellow may begin to be calm and he might even slim down. Can you imagine?? A well kept, brushed and thin Cookie Monster? No. He must stay as is. This is evil.

I refuse to accept it. As a matter of fact. I am so upset that I have written a letter to the Sesame Street people and I encourage you to do the same thing. There is a time and place for politically obsessed correctness and this is NOT right. Cookie Monster is an icon. It is not the business of Sesame Street to appropriate the mass anti-carb anti-sugar mindset! The blue fuzz ball deserves better.

Let's fight the power on this one.

Oh, and bake some cookies this week in honour of the Blue dude.

Cookie Recipes

love it

2005-03-25T13:13:00.000-08:00

Brilliant, I say! I love this man. He is a superstar.

Prankster Smuggles Art Into Top Museums

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Many a visitor to New York's Museum of Modern Art has probably thought, "I could do that."

A British graffiti artist who goes by the name "Banksy" went one step further, by smuggling in his own picture of a soup can and hanging it on a wall, where it stayed for more than three days earlier this month before anybody noticed.

The prank was part of a coordinated plan to infiltrate four of New York's top museums on a single day.

The largest piece, which he smuggled into the Brooklyn Museum, was a 2 foot by 1.5 foot (61cm by 46 cm) oil painting of a colonial-era admiral, to which the artist had added a can of spray paint in his hand and anti-war graffiti in the background.

The other two targets were the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the American Museum of Natural History, where he hung a glass-encased beetle with fighter jet wings and missiles attached to its body -- another comment on war, Banksy told Reuters on Thursday.

"It was just an outsider's view of the modern American bug, bristling with listening devices and military hardware," he said.

An art Web site called Wooster Collective has posted pictures of the artist -- wearing an Inspector Clouseau-style overcoat, a hat and a fake beard and nose -- hanging up his work at the four museums and describing how he did it. <------------------THAT IS BRILLIANT!

Speaking by telephone from an undisclosed location in Britain, Banksy said he conducted all four operations on March 13, helped by accomplices who filmed him and provided distractions where necessary.

"They staged a gay tiff (lovers' quarrel), shouting very loudly and obnoxiously," said the artist, declining to give his real name or any personal details beyond his occupation as a professional painter and decorator.

It is not the first time he has staged such stunts. Last year he smuggled work into the Louvre in Paris and London's Tate, attracting attention in the British media.

"My sister inspired me to do it. She was throwing away loads of my pictures one day and I asked her why. She said 'It's not like they're going to be hanging in the Louvre.'"

He took that as a challenge. "I thought why wait until I'm dead," he said.

His preferred creative outlet, graffiti on trains, was growing more difficult due to greater security so he decided to branch out into infiltrating museums. "I tend to gravitate to places with less sophisticated security systems," he said.

Officials at the Natural History Museum declined to comment on security. Museum of Modern Art officials said only that the offending picture was taken down on March 17.

It was unclear what gave the game away but Banksy's version of Andy Warhol's iconic images of Campbell's Soup Cans showed a can of Tesco value tomato soup, a discounted brand sold by a British supermarket chain.

"Obviously they've got their eye a lot more on things leaving than things going in which works in my favor," Banksy said. "I imagine they'll be doing stricter bag checks now."

He said the painting in the Metropolitan Museum, a small portrait of a woman wearing a gas mask, had been discovered after one day, while the others stayed up for several days. The paintings were fixed to the wall with extra-strong glue.

Asked how he managed to escape notice while putting them up on a busy Sunday at the museums, he said: "They do get pretty full, but not if you put the pictures in the boring bits."

random random random pain

2005-03-14T11:27:00.000-08:00

This is me writing in a pre, post..migraine stupor. I take no responsibility. I will lead you into my fascinating world of suffering and pain today. Through my brilliance, you will feel the pain. Or....not. But, first -

Random is the popular word with the bloggers, eh! I am making "random" comments about my life.

No, you are not!

Random is not defined by you going to the blog and signing in and then writing. Sorry bud, doesn't work like that.

I have had migraines for 2 days on and off and my brain is dried up like a Middle Eastern date. It becomes hard to sound smrt when my synapses (word from this weekend's Provincial spelling bee) are syrupy and elastic. It's HARD being a migraineur. Have I mentioned it is hard.

It feels like I, just can't quite get it together to write or make decisions or anything.......nevermind.

That is another thing people write about in blogs! How, they have nothing to write. But, they are writing anyhow. I have always hated that. You know, the play about writing a play, the book about writing a book, a movie about making a movie.

I do like movies about making plays though. "Waiting for Guffman" is brilliant.

Today, as I sit and eat stoned wheat thins, is a day where I will do a lot of gapping.

Migraineurs (a word I hate almost as much as "survivors') have a hard time forming sentences. Is that even spellt correctly?

Ha, I make myself laugh as I squint.

Usually, after or before a migraine. I will look at the salt, I will think, I want the salt..but, then I will say, "can you pass me that white granular shakey thing". Nouns are a struggle. Syntax isn't even the correct word, goes to prove my point.

I did spend the weekend at the Celtic Fest and had a couple of Guinness yesterday though. Normally, not advised when you are in the fragile state of post, pre migraine land. Fuck it. I get so sick of being "sick" with pain that I have learned over the years to just ignore it. It can be impossible at times. But, I was able to do it most of the weekend. Now, I am hatin' it though.

Sometimes, I can't let it get me. I know I should relax and hang out and "suffah" the full effects of the migraine monkey poke eye..but, I don't. I am stubborn.

So, my random ramblings of randomness are pseudo-ramblin randomnot.

Can't be semi-coherent any more.

Not sure if I am spelling anything correctly and the checker doesn't work on my mac.

Who the hell cares anyway.

rich people smell better

2005-03-02T10:48:00.000-08:00

A controversial bylaw has been passed in the rich neighbourhood of West Vancouver, B.C. The bylaw states that restaurants are obliged to avoid "offensive" odours from passing outside of the building. Essentially, what it means is that if you are a non-white, ethnic restaurant you better get some fancy schmancy ventilation system, or the whitey's will shut you down cause, "you are smelly".

CBC Article

I am appalled that this by-law was actually passed. I am, however, not surprised. West Vancouver has a personality unto its own and the majority of the people there are disillusioned.

I wonder who is in charge of deciding what an offensive odour is? Whose nose is in charge of this? I suspect that the person in charge is white, overweight and pasty. I suspect that the probuscus of measure is one owned by a person who doesn't use garlic or cumin in thier cooking. As a matter of fact, they probably gag at the thought of curry or roti.

You know, those foreigners...they are smelly! "They" don't know how to cook. "They" are different and "We" deserve the right to un-smelly air!

The bylaw was initiated by the strata council of a local condo development in regards to an Arian Restaurant nearby (insert irony here). It seems that the offensive odours, according to,

Councillor Victor Durman

". . .had a negative effect on their quality of life."

"This is not a frivolous matter," he says. "This is where a smell invades a building and stays within a building and is continuous and it becomes extremely annoying to people." I would like to now add that Victor Durman's toupee offends me. I find it annoying, therefore, it should be banned.

BAD HAIR BUDDY!

God forbid cooking odours create an annoying situation. Call 911!

This certainly is WAY more annoying than the MASSIVE fucking, "I am a reiki healer, ask me how" SUV's that all the rich ladies drive in West Van!!!

I would like to know if this bylaw also includes the banning of rich ladies "stink bomb" perfume assaults? I have had migraines triggered more often by the wafty cloud of stench-fume from some bleach toothed rich lady than the odour of curry. As a matter of fact, curry doesn't trigger migraines in me at all. Does this bylaw also include a clause for vegitarians who can't handle the smell of meat cooking?

I would like to say that I live in a city that is diverse as it is open. However, the reality is that Vancouver is still full of racist and ignorant people. It is embarrassing and goes to show you that we are essentially a "zitty pre-teen" metropolis posing as a mature woman.

What deems an offensive smell anyhow? A stinky fart of a fat rich person in West Vancouver? I think so!

I certainly don't run screaming when I smell an ethnic restaurant. As a matter of fact, I usually end up going inside for food.

I would like to propose that the restaurant owners move their business to the Commercial Drive area of East Vancouver. We have more ethnic restaurants in a 4 block radius than West Van ever will. We like the smell of "stinky" foreign food!

I would also like to propose that the city of West Vancouver build a biosphere around the whole neighbourhood so that they can live in thier own stench of environmental destroying SUV fumes.

You think curry smells bad, you just wait until you choke from your own carbon monoxide emmissions!

Rich ignorant bastards.

Insert appropriate "foreign" swear word here.

and the crowd goes wild

2005-02-28T11:08:00.000-08:00

Last night our friends came over to watch the Oscar's.

Because the theme was, "Worst Dressed", everyone turned up in some quality garb. Full fashion potentials were met...the stylists were competing and there were prizes.

As the hostess, I chose to go with the "tiger strips" look, complete with ho-pants with tiger stripes and a visible g-string at the hips. My stylist was very supportive of this look. The animal nature combined with the sexy "Lil Kim" made for a very very HOT look. Just look how spherical my bottom is. The lycra in my pants helps to contribute to this geometric masterpiece.

Best subtle, but great costume prize went to Alec for his "I am a filmmaker" outfit. His stylist chose to have him wear the retro "Prince" necklace with furry pants and a puffy pirate shirt....and a Filmfestival toque. He won the "grow your own boyfriend" toy. He was seen later in the evening sucking on the it to soothe his sadness that Clint Eastwood won too many damn Oscars.

The hand gesture means that he is way cooler than you.

Alec's wife was extraordinary in her skin-tight leather pants. Her stylist chose to pair the slick pants with a sparkly sporty top of gold. Her puffy top accented her husbands pirate look. She found it difficult to sit down, but, the constriction was worth it.

Just look at that pout.

My husband and our friend Andrew chose the Miami Vice designer suit look. Throughout the evening, they chatted together and were drawn to discuss SpongeBob Squarepants. Some people may think that this indicates that they may be homosexualists (thanks H for the word). I think they are just good buddies.

Gaelle was in a category all to herself. Her look was "inspired" by Christina Aguilera. Her stylist, Jean said that she enjoyed wearing the rubber corset under the mesh top and that it looked "rich". Her pink fishnets with the red mini really brought out her personality. I really enjoyed her posing. Note also, my panties peeking out from my pants. They sprung up out of the pants when Gaelle walked by. She was a fox. She won the "Potted Meat Product" prize. This fine canned meat was fortified and included "partially defatted pork fatty tissue" in the ingredients. People were heard saying, "Wow, she looks like partially defatted pork fatty tissue", so, it was only fitting to award her the prize.

Laura had to head out early to go to the Vanity Fair party in LA, however, her pink dress was amazing. She glowed in the night. Almost as much brightness as the can of "Easy Cheese" we were eating.

Finally, last but not least, Civixen turned up fashionably late. She may have been late in the night, but her look was so fucking current that you could hear music when she entered the room.

Her pink gown glistened in the evening light. Her dress, according to her stylist Pishano, was "Eva Gabor - like". I can tell you that the resemblance was uncanny. Pishano, her stylist from Italy, packed her with some "candies", which she found to be a great ice breaker. Later in the night, she also enjoyed a blow pop. It's a lollipop with gum, not cocaine. Sorry to let you down. Eva has been included so you can compare and contrast.

Oh, I almost forgot. My summary of the Oscars for this year:

- Clint Eastwood won too much
- Chris Rock rocked
- Cate Blanchett was beautiful so was Kate Winslet
- Al Pacino was boring. What was he talking about?
- Byoncee, or however you spell her name, was lame
- Antonio Bandarasssss was horrible
- We are glad that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind won something.
- We are mad that Hillary Swank won because there were better people in the category.
- We were very happy that, "Ryan" won for Best Short Documentary. It was Canadian.
- Annette Benning was full of botox, if you covered up her face and just looked at her eyes, they were dead.

Overall, it was a good night. Next time, we will bet money.

J

worst dressed list

2005-02-24T15:21:00.000-08:00

Joan River's is gearing up for her yearly red carpet "hose a thon". I quite like her. She has a way of mocking people without them noticing. I think that she mesmerizes them with her dreamy stretched face. It's like when someone has a toupee and you cannot stop staring at the fuzzy wig.

Much thanks to my friend Alec for coming up with the theme of "Worst Dressed Oscar Party". This Sunday, our friends will be coming over to enjoy the Oscar's. We are gathering in our "worst" and just the thought of it makes me giddy. You see, last year we had a "glamour" Oscar party, which, was good...but, everyone just looked good.

This year, we are all going to be hideous. I am excited to see how the theme is interpreted. I am also thrilled to know that my husband will be wearing an ill-fitting 1991 designer suit complete with shoulder pads and double breasted accents. I apologize for the bad formatting, but the large picture was needed to see the details.

I promise to post photos of the outfits for full mockery potential. I have yet to make a final decision as to what I am wearing. Considering my love of theme costume parties, you would think I had many outfits already, but - I have only a couple ideas. Whatever I choose will rock though. I promise you.

On the invitation, I included a picture of Lil' Kim. While I am appreciative of her personal comfort with her boobs, I am not too pleased with her HIDEOUS fashion choices. She is just awful.

Check this out. Look how the boobies spill out of the sausage casing!

My other fairly recent bad fashion choice would have been made by Uma Thurman at last year's Oscars. She looked like an exploded kleenex box - but, with a belt! Very important to include a belt/vest unit?!?!? This outfit proves that you can still look bad, even if you are hot like Uma Thurman.

My last but final contribution to the bad fashion pages would be Sheryl Crow's recent Grammy dress. She joked as she came up to the podium that her dress was made out of her husband's riding jerseys.

She should have included that she actually bought it from a "Star Trek Planet of Bad Hairdo's" sale.

See the yellow and just imagine the itchiness of the tinfoil hose attached to the dress.

You are jealous of her body sock! Say it.

See you Sunday!

she doesn't work here any more

2005-02-22T13:07:00.000-08:00

I am still at my new job and I am enjoying most of it. It has taken some time to get used to working 9-5 again after being self employed for 4 years. But, the reality of having a paycheque greatly outweighs the reality of financial stress around self employment.

I am annoyed today though.

The person who had this job before me was, to put it bluntly, very anal. I can appreciate being concise about some things, however, redundancy pisses me off. But, what really pisses me off are the comments from other women in the office like: "Well, Suzy used to do it like THIS"....

I am a different person and, if I say so myself, a bit more stable and realistic than she was. We are talking about a woman who actually showed me where to put the paperclip when she was training me! FUCK OFF.....

I know that there were people in the office who had issue with "Suzy" because she was one of those, "that's not in my job description" people...which, we all know is NOT the way to win friends and influence people.

I am also 7 years older than she was and, without sounding like a hag (hey Jen you ARE a hag!!!)....I have to say, I am more mature. Even my boss said this. Now, I am not trying to toot my horn, but, I am getting to the point where I feel like saying very loudly, "SUZY IS NOT HERE ANYMORE EVERYONE, DEAL WITH IT!"....

I know this is not the accepted way to deal with things in an office & in spite of my environment not being grossly corporate, I know creating conflict not the ideal method.

So, what should I do? Stew? Ponder? Worry???

Yup.

Oh, you know me, I have just been stewing in my office plotting various ways to communicate that SHE ISN'T ME and I AIN'T HER!!!!

I was hired for my skill at this job and the fact that I have a lot of previous experience in other facets of this industry (television). My boss loves me, which is good...and even gave me a raise after 3 months! I feel like saying THAT to the women in accounting.

"Hey, ladies, I got a raise and now I am making more than SHE ever did, do you think that this might mean that I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING!!!".

They are all very nice. But, I find, a bit niave. This also contributes as a problem in life. I tend to notice it when I am smarter than other people and then I get a bit obsessed with it and notice every little darn thing that makes them dumb and me smart. Good syntax Jen.

I know its crap. You can tell me that to my face. It is not healthy to think that way.

It is probably some Freudian thing that I use to make myself feel better. I could analyse it for ages. So could Jung. I need to get over this one though. It is beginning to taint my personality. At least today it is. I am stewing and obsessing and just need a glass of whiskey dammit!

I guess the more reasonable way to deal with this is to remind "them" that I am open to new ways of doing things and that I hope they are too.

Or, even better - how about saying, "she is not fucking perfect and I rock, you BITCHES! Don't forget that SHE quit this job!!".

No, maybe not the best method.

I guess I will just forget about it and internalize it so I get bitter. Now, that is the best way to deal with most things. It's the most healthy.

I make myself laugh sometimes.....

but i am pretty

2005-02-17T19:07:00.000-08:00

I realized today that I have a habit of posting unattractive pictures of myself on my blog. Normally, I am not particularly concerned at "ugly" pictures of myself. I have never been one of those annoying women who run sheepishly from the room when a camera is present saying, "ohhhhh nooooo donnnn't, quit it".

As a matter of fact, I have spent many a day bitching out the idea of people like that. I think that some people may have even find that sort of "shy" behaviour cute or endearing. However, now, I find it just plain old irritating. Most of the time the "I am so hideous" types are women. I can't say that I have EVER seen a guy do that. The thought of that actually makes me laugh.

This is why it bothers me so much. It's a female thing. Feeling bad about yourself to the point of making a scene when a photographer just wants to capture a moment is not going to make anyone feel good. Why perpetuate that bullshit myth. Why keep up the act around self-loathing? No one likes it.

It is along the same lines as the body hatred and body dismorphic disorders that run rampant in North American women. I have battled many times with my own body and, let me tell you, with 15 years of classical ballet training to fight with....the fight has been long and tedious. But, my own issues don't warrant me the right to make off like a bandit any time a camera is about.

I am not shy. No kidding!

Most of my life I have been happy to perform or dance or pose if a camera is around. This is not attached to my own problems I may have with my tummy flab, nor should it be. I can thank my Dad for constantly having a camera around when I was a child. It helped me a lot. I also learned from him that often, the best pictures are not posed.

I was told by a photographer once that the best way to "accept" a photo of yourself is to hold it up to a mirror. This will allow you to "see" yourself the way you comprehend your own image, neurologically speaking. Just think of it for a second. The ONLY way you understand your looks are by a mirror. You only know your reflection. The looking glass tells you that your right eye is your left eye. Get it?

If you take a picture that you think is "hideous" of yourself and you put in infront of a mirror you will suddenly react differently. You will be able to handle it.

This is just like how when you were a child and you recorded your own voice on cassette and then when you listened back you thought, "geez, I sound weird". That would be because your mind only knows your own voice from what it sounds like in your own head. This is also, by the way, the same reason so many people go on American Idol "thinking" that they can sing.

So, play the game of reverso with your mind. The brain is quite simple and, your concept of yourself in photos will become much easier to handle if you do the reflecto trick.

By using this trick you will then slowly be able to allow other people to take your picture. If not, you will unfortunately feel the proverbial slap upside the head from ME...no matter where you are on this planet.

Try it.

Oh, and here is a cute picture of me. My ego had to do it, I take no responsibility.

fingers to temples thinking hard

2005-02-16T10:21:00.000-08:00

I have not been sleeping well lately. That picture (on the right) for my profile is from when I went to the sleep disorder clinic last year. It was a nightmare. Nothing like being forced to sleep with wires attached to your head in a cold room with tight sanitary bedding. I have never slept well. My life has consisted of multiple wakings.

I have never slept through the night. Never. I always wake up. I even woke up as a baby apparently.

My Mom doesn't sleep through the night nor does my Father. Genetics perhaps?

When I went to the clinic, the first night they did the wires on my head, my legs and also stuck some thing up my nose which monitored whether I was breathing or not. How is something practically blocking your nostrils supposed to monitor your breathing when you cannot really breathe with it? It hurt too. Pokey plastic things up my nose. There was also a strap around my chest monitoring breath somehow. The wires from my head and body all went to this little powerpack thing that hung around my neck. It looked like a lame Star Trek prop. The attendant attached me up and then came in at 11 and said that I had to go to bed now. At that point in my life I was a night owl. Staying up late to about 1am and getting out of bed at about 10am. I lay there all chilled and wired. MMM, perfect for a great sleep.

I didn't feel like sleeping so I just flopped around. I felt like a paranoid freak. There was a camera in the room too. A red light shone over me like a bad girlie show. I was self conscious and worried that they would film me picking my nose or I would suddenly have a sex dream and be caught guilty.

I normally sleep on my side and when I rotated my head to the side, I would feel pokey wires on my cheeks. MMM, perfect for a great sleep.

I woke at one point with an electrical shock. I had somehow touched some part to some other part and buzzed myself. It was surreal. She came in and moved my arm to another place on my body.

I finally slept a bit and then BOOM. LIGHTS ON at 6:30am! Time to get up Jennifer.

The perky woman burst in my room and began asking me questions.

How long did you sleep? - Um.....4 hours
How many times did you wake up? -Um.......I don't know, maybe 10
Do you feel refreshed? No

Tear poke tear.....she removed the wires in a flash.

Then I had to go to work. Fun. I remember nothing.

Then I had to come back for my second night of sleep. MMM, so looking forward to it.

Second night I didn't have to have the nose poker and chest strap. I apparently did breathe in the night. Good thing.

More head wires. More tossing and turning. More lame "sleep".

BOOM - lights on at 6:30am.

Interrogation. I wanted to slap her. Bitch.

They sent me home...and, I slept until 1pm that day.

This is me after 2 days of the "sleep" clinic. I look haggard. Normally, people think I don't look like I am 35 years old. But, in this picture....I perhaps...look older and more puffy than normal.

So, on assessment, the physician said that I have "primary" insomnia. This means that I am born with it. Bummer. I could have told him this. He said I could do two things: 1) medication or 2) deprivation. He recommended deprivation. Um, let me think about that for a second. NOOOOO!

He, the doctor who slept well everynight, suggested that I only sleep/stay in bed for 6 hrs a night. Be strict about it...and my body will adjust. What a crap prescription. I know myself and I KNOW that if I did that it would be a recipe for more migraines and really really bitchy behaviour, mood swings and then depression. Fun. He was interested in the fact that my deepest sleep waves..that being delta waves, were very deep and then I would shoot right back up into wake state in a "spike" on the EEG. It was interesting because most people upon waking have a gradual drop, slope into delta wave sleep. I just shot up and down like an earthquake richter scale. I am a freak. I am a redhead. Just ask any doctor and they will tell you we are of a different ilk.

I chose to go with the medication. I had tried meds before and none really worked. My MD recommended this one med that is new. Its called "Starnoc" - drug name Zaleplon. Sounds Star Trek to me.

It works fairly well. Helps me fall asleep and wake less. Funny thing is that most people don't like Starnoc because they say it doesn't work.

It normally works okay. I ran out a week ago. Last night I got meds again and took one and.....I still slept shitty.

Woke up and had songs in my head all night. Looping songs. Maroon 5 and some other Grammy nominated thing.

I am tired now. I am at work...and, I want to sleep.

Oh, I saw "Neverland" last night with Johnny Depp. He is so HIDEOUS and HORRIBLE. I love him. He deserves an Oscar actually. It was a great film. I cried.

Maybe it was that big chocolate I ate right before bed?

that is hiLARious

2005-02-10T14:42:00.000-08:00

When someone is telling a story that involves the word "hilarious", have you noticed that it's always followed with a dead blank facial expression.

Isn't the definition of hilarious one of absolute humour. So very very funny that you just had to pee? So very funny that your gut hurt?

"So I was on the bus, and like, well, this lady got on, and her pants were bright pink. It was hilarious." PAUSE, blank stare.

So, when I tell a story and it was not hilarious, I try to use the word a lot and then interject it with many deadpan expressions.

So, here is a photo of me that is sort of funny.

When I have a migraine I wear this hat to help me feel better. My husband took this picture cause he thought I was cute in spite of my horrible suffering.

I have severe pain in my head at the exact moment the picture was taken. Imagine a railroad nail in your eye....now smile!

NOW THAT is hilarious.

roe vs. The LORD

2005-02-07T15:55:00.000-08:00

Well kick me in the ass and slap me in the face. Jane Roe from the famous Roe vs. Wade case, has found THE LORD. She was bathed of her sins and born again and is quoted as saying, "I would like to see children stop being killed and women maimed and dead themselves." She then goes on to say that she felt the guilt of the "millions" of children killed but now she doesn't have to feel it any more because, "I've been saved by the Blood of the Lamb through Jesus Christ." Apparently, this happened a few years ago. WHERE WAS I?

Anytime someone says that they don't have to feel anything anymore because of THE LORD, I cringe. What is that?

OHHHHHHHHHHH. It makes me so angry. She, and her Christian right wing freaks are now on a crusade to overturn Roe vs. Wade. The irony of her "argument" is that 80,000 women die every year from unsafe and illegal abortions. But then I guess its more important to save the embryos.

Isn't the point to educate young people about pregnancy so that we prevent the unwanted pregnancies in the first place? Oh, I get it, make it harder for abortion to be accessed and then the young people will miraculously know all about pregnancy and they won't get pregnant because of "the fear". What a great idea. This is like that stupid theory that if you have capital punishment then the "bad people" will stop doing "bad things". Personally, I think its the opposite. The more stringent and harsh the "penalty" the cooler you are if you do the crime. I suspect this is the way the gang world thinks....I certainly don't.

Nobody wants more abortions. But as Hillary Clinton pointed out on Monday, we should not make matters worse for the woman who may have no alternative in her circumstance. That is why we say: safe, legal is the only way.

Here is the article in case you want to drive yourself into an angry frenzy.

I had an abortion a few years ago, well, sort of. I had it scheduled anyhow, and, my body "aborted" the embryo the day before it was supposed to happen. I still had to have the basic procedure to remove some of the remaining tissue. But the embryo was gone. So, you can ask yourself, did I have a therapeutic abortion? Or, did I force myself to have one by thinking in depth about not wanting it. Am I a murderer? According to the anti-abortion people I am not. Apparently, if the embryo is removed surgically then you are an accessory to the embryo murder but, if you are at home and it comes out of you then you are not.

That makes lots of sense.

But then, they have never based much on sense. While I don't advocate running out to abort everytime you have a pregnancy you "aren't into". I do advocate the freedom and choice to do so if you have good reason.

My reasons were as follows:

I was on 2 medications that cause birth defects
I was in a very new relationship
I had $10 in the bank to my name
I didn't want it

When I found out I was pregnant, I sat outside the doctor's office in the sun. I remember a small girl about 4 came up to me and smiled and said, "Its okay".

Those reasons were good ones.

I should also add that I chart my fertility and know exactly when I am fertile. That month my ovulation was screwed up and I didn't show as fertile..but, I was and that is how I got pregnant. Using the fertility method is 95% accurate if done correctly.

I meditated with my friend. I had some energy work done on my body. I asked it to leave me. It did.

I was never coerced by the counselor at the women's clinic. They left the decision up to me & my partner. It was a heavy time. I cried of course.

The procedure was not painful. It was as mellow as possible. The doctor showed my partner what he was removing (tissue) on the ultrasound. My partner held my hand. I was medicated for pain. The nurse was dressed in casual wear. We made small talk and she and I found out we had a mutual friend. The lights were dimmed. Music was playing on a small radio.

The hardest part of the whole thing was that I wasn't allowed to lift anything for about a week afterwards and I had to then ask all of my friends to help me move. Not the best timing on my part. The other odd thing was that Toys R Us and Babies R Us are right across the street from the clinic. So, when you come out you see these big signs....I swear the anti-abortion people did that on purpose.

My partner, now husband, was incredible.

I am the last to say that abortion is some lighthearted thing. It is a big deal. I am glad that my first and hopefully only one was when I was in my 30's. However, I took peace in knowing that, at least in my city, if I were 15 years old, I would have been treated with dignity and respect.

If the anti-abortion freaks want to truly effect the amount of abortions performed I suggest they focus on accurate and intelligent fertility education so that their Jesus-lovin young teens aren't out there having sex without protection (cause its against the Catholic law or some such thing). If more young teens knew "how" to identify when they are fertile, less would get pregnant. I am sure. Toni Weschler, Fertility counselor would be proud. Oh, right, I forgot, if you are a Christian teen you don't have sex, you just give blow-jobs and have anal sex. Have you heard? Its the lastest thing! I am not kidding.

The most promiscuous kids I knew as a teen were from religious homes. They snuck out of their windows and had sex before most of us ever did. I am sure that there are some people who don't act out this way, some "good Christians" out there. But, this was not my experience.

I was educated about pregnancy and sex at an early age. My hippy parents were good that way.

I even called my Mom from a trip in Montreal to tell her that I was going to lose my virginity with my boyfriend and that I had been on the Birth Control Pill for 2 months just to make sure (this was prior to the AIDS safe sex thing)!! Talk about responsible teen behaviour. I was so proud of myself for being responsible.

The bottom line is that the anti-abortion movement will now latch on to the Roe story like a fresh piece of dog poo on your new shoes. They will forget that the case itself was not actually about Roe personally, it was about rights for women. There is a big difference.

Oh, and did you know that statistically most anti-abortion folks are also pro capital punishment in the USA? As Dennis Miller once said, "I guess its all in the timing".

I am so glad to be a Canadian today at least our government is open to choice and homosexual marriage..oh, and oral sex.

come fly with the twins

2005-02-03T13:12:00.000-08:00

OH MY! Good God.

I cannot decide how I feel about this.

Hooter's Air

As you know, I am a feminist. I am a proud feminist. I loved, "Fire with Fire" & "The Beauty Myth". I wear makeup, I like dressing in highheels. I am feminine and I like men. HOWEVER, I have to draw the line here. I am sure that some men think it is brilliant. I think the only way it would be brilliant is if there was also "Drag King Air" and "Hot 35 year old Man Air".

I remember one Halloween I dressed as a Hooter's Girl. This was a reputable film/tv industry party. Many people dressed in detailed and creative costumes. I drove out to Surrey, B.C. and bought a Hooter's T-shirt and orange shorts. I wore beige hose under my shorts, white sneakers. I tied the shirt in a slutty way.

Then,

I was asked, "So, did you just get off work?".

I said, "Are you serious?"

Just like me to answer with a question.

I realized that he actually thought I was a Hooter's girl. Now, this could be seen as a compliment to my costume. He thought I was so "real".

Talk amongst yourselves on this topic. Ask your friends for me.

---

I am going to go as a Hooter's Stewardess this year for Halloween.

This may be the one good thing for women in this 20 steps back in Feminist history moment. At least we get a good costume idea out of it.

If you would like to buy a t-shirt click here

I would like to encourage all of my Feminist friends to buy them. Let's confuse the crap out of the masses.

my friend lou

2005-02-02T11:22:00.000-08:00

I lost a friend today. She was 42 and was such a spunky woman. It shocks me to think that she is dead. I have been trying to think of it as just the body that is gone. Which, in essence, is true. I met her online and she and I became quick and fast email/penpals. Lou lived in Texas and was a retired physician. She had to stop working due to a lung condition. We met on Ronda's Migraine Page

Ronda's page is for migraineurs to complain, laugh, advise and cry. We have a strong cyberfamily. It's so 21'st century. I have been a part of it for about 5 years.

Lou was so funny too. Her emails were always a delight. She had the knack of writing in such a meandering way that the words infused with emotion.

I was dealing with some reoccuring emotional stuff and I remember a fantastic email she sent me. It was full of love and swears. The kind of email a woman in need wants. A balanced combination of "you are beautiful" & "what a dog fucker".

She touched my life and many of our other migraine site friends.

Her family and her beloved husband will miss her like crazy.

Lou....have fun without your skinny body. At least now you can be free of pain and fly amongst the birds....laughing all the way.

you poser

2005-01-27T16:54:00.000-08:00

I discovered this blog today that I am in love with. A woman with a great idea. She, and her friends, pose like statues, next to statues and then take a picture. Check it out..stand by your statue

I love this and would like to encourage everyone around the world to do this.

I also found another site called

statuemolesters

These people are much more vulgar than the stand by your statue people....but, damn is it funny. How did I miss this?? I want to run out instantly and molest statues.

we must stop the gay mafia from taking over

2005-01-26T09:52:00.000-08:00

If you have been following the mainstream Am'rican news you have been blessed with the outrageous claims by some sick Christian "family values" organization that little ol' Sponge Bob is gay. What is it about these people? Are they INSANE! It reminds me of the Jerry Falwell Tinky Winky fiasco. Jerry was convinced of the teletubby being gay because he carried a purse. Hasn't Jerry every seen a man-purse?

My favorite San Franciscian journalist has written a response to this current fiasco.

SpongeBob, Evil Gay Heathen - How sad to be a right-wing Christian in a world full of homo cartoons and scary nipples - By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist

And oh my God, you think, how these people's lives must be one screaming firehose of inexorable, nipple-torquing, kidney-stabbing pain. I mean, really.

Because then you read about how James Dobson, the cute little founder of the cute little ultraconservative rabidly Christian happily neo-homophobic Focus on the Family, actually stood up and proclaimed, to the media, to the world, with a straight face, with no sense of irony or shuddering humiliation or an overpowering sense that he was, in fact, contributing quite nicely to the overall violent oatmealy ignorance of the planet, came right out and announced that the wildly popular and much-loved SpongeBob Squarepants cartoon character is, actually and truly, probably gay.

And therefore, of course, SpongeBob is a dire threat to all childrenkind and must be avoided at all costs lest the wee ones watch the cartoons and become overwhelmed with a mad desire to wax their chests and buy a new Miata and drink cocktails made with lemonade. More or less.

And why? Why is the adorable yellow sea sponge suddenly considered to be contributing to the mental and spiritual and genital degradation of millions of innocent children? Because he's a hyperactive none-too-bright short-attention-spanned spazzball of lovable non-sequiturial nonsense who induces rabid devotion among children and gay men and straight adults alike? Why, no. Not quite.

It's because the frantically animated sea creature is now appearing, alongside noted pagan cartoon perverts Barney the Dinosaur and Winnie-the-Pooh and the Rugrats and Bob the Builder, in a nonprofit video sent to 60,000 schools and designed to promote that vile demon called, ahem, tolerance. And diversity.

(Our fair SpongeBob was singled out, by the way, because of his noted popularity with gay men, perhaps given his propensity for flamboyant exuberance and a love of show tunes and his very gayly named pet snail, Gary. Or something).

So then, the cute part: To the vast sentient population of the planet, people like those in Focus on the Family and the American Family Association (the other terrified little group that found SpongeBob to be sexually dangerous) are, well, just plain sad, small, lost in a world where everything is a threat and everything wants to stab at their mealy souls and everything reeks of debauchery and demonism and copious amounts of residual Astroglide.

And we look at such people and we shake our heads and sigh, trying to understand how excruciating it must be to go through life feeling as though you're stuck like a pinned bug to a perverted universe that can't be trusted, one that they desperately hope will be over real soon now, just like the "Left Behind" books promise, so they can forget how miserable and lost and distressed they feel and so they may finally leave their not-so-secret homosexual fantasies behind and drive their big manly SUVs to the Promised Land.

And toward them, we normally just roll our eyes and shake our heads and smile, and feel a fleeting moment of sympathy before shrugging them off like you would a 2-year-old throwing ice cream at a tree.

But now, the not-so-cute part: Much like that other small-minded cluster of clenched nonbrains over at the Parents Television Council, the very tiny but weirdly vocal group that single-handedly managed to hurl the FCC into fits of hysteria regarding naughty swearwords and exposed nipples in the national media, these groups are having one helluva moment right now, one influential and dangerous time in the cultural limelight.

These are the minuscule and shrill groups that, perhaps in a period not seen since the Puritans forbade dancing and kissing and the color fuchsia and all pleasure of any kind, have a shockingly powerful pull on American society and who reputedly helped tilt the election toward Bush and who increasingly have the ear of Congress -- a Congress, it must be noted, that's increasingly crammed with evangelical Christians and homophobic nutjobs and Tom DeLay.

Which is to say, much as most of us on this planet laugh and feel pity and shake our heads at the odd paranoia and dread these cheerless people wallow in on a daily basis, somehow, some way, they have stolen the reins. For the moment.

They now have a semblance of voice, a hook, have warped the ear of the government and embarrassed our national common sense and soiled the clean white sheets of healthy happy debauchery and perversion.

They have jammed a black seed of paranoia and dread into the tired soil of American consciousness, and have made it their lifelong duty to ensure that the seed festers and erupts into a gnarled weed of hate and ignorance and bad missionary-position sex with the lights off.

All of which somehow reminds me of the Spanish Catholic Archdiocese, also recently in the news after undergoing an amazing spasm of lucid awareness in how, for a brief blip in time, the church officially allowed that condoms might be OK.

Did you read that story? About how Bishop Juan Antonio Martinez Camin, in Spain, announced that condoms are actually pretty good for, you know, controlling disease and inhibiting the spread of HIV? Miss that one? It's understandable. Went by pretty fast. In fact, the astounding stance lasted exactly 24 hours, just enough time for the Vatican to get a whiff of it and for the Vatican's Archbishop of Hateful Sexless Myopia to make a nasty phone call to Spain, promptly threatening the Spanish church with nothing short of castration and excommunication and genital warts.

Whoops, nope, we were wrong, muttered the Spanish church the following day. Condoms were evil all along. Condoms are wrong and condoms don't actually prevent the spread of HIV and we don't care if they save lives or prevent pregnancy or STDs because condoms promote -- what is it again, cardinal? -- oh, yes, "immoral sexual conduct."

Oh you warped and sad little men.

And lo, the Vatican, still viciously influential in much of Europe and Africa but basically dismissed, as far as sex and gender are concerned, by modern believers in the States as an outdated archaic sexist ignoramus, stomped its callused foot and reiterated its deadly doctrine and stabbed at the heart of progressive humanity. Again.

Which in turn reminds me of Bush addressing a cluster of antichoice activists a few days back, touting the vicious and degrading "culture of life," which translates directly as, "We aging sexless white Christian males shall hereby stop at nothing to slap women's rights back to 1955 and chip away at female procreative choice, all while preventing stem-cell research from ever saving the life of a single cancer or Alzheimer's patient. God bless." Ah, progress.

And then, in the next ironic breath, Bush announced that his warmongering administration is ready to request another $80 billion from Congress to further the violent and treasonous and unwinnable war on Islami-- er, on non-Christia-- er, women-- er, gays-- er, decent grammar-- er, dictators who control our oil-- er, "terror."

Aha. Promote the "culture of life" while asking for billions more to assist in the killing of all foreigners who hate us more every day. Onward, Christian soldiers.

Note the connection. Note the blood-red thread of fear and dread and homophobia, the brutal irony throughout all these stories. Shrill extremist sects and small-minded leaders with too much control, saddled with self-righteous and outdated doctrines that refuse to allow the culture to progress, to laugh, to moan in joy and sticky happiness.

Note the people who look at hilarious children's cartoons and see only sinister mind control, who look at their fellow human souls and see only an army of debauched heathens, who look (reluctantly) at their own genitals and see only a gnarled clump of pain and confusion, who look up at the beautiful blue sky and see only a massive canopy of daggers.

secret hush

2005-01-24T10:43:00.000-08:00

its a long walk when you start feeling it again
i know what its like to be afraid to whisper the shame aloud
it takes guts, baby

your pride of perfection is familiar
that everything will be fine is true
but acting like everything is fine is not

small steps are agony
tiny panic stricken moments all because you want to tell

i know the hot fear well
i feel it when you whisper your secrets to me

your sistergirl is holding your hand, my friend
don't think for a second that your memory is false
no one conjures up those feelings for fun

your beauty is in your story
your drama queen is proud
your strength is waiting to shine
you can see it if you let the red out

your anger is powerful and
best of all, your secret is held in my hand
and is ready to fly
when you are

you will step over it oneday
your beauty is shining already
you might just not see it

look down in your palm
its soft and precious
just like your childhood

nyc at its best

2005-01-10T13:16:00.000-08:00

As promised I will continue the NYC journal to include some more detail of our amazing good luck.

For the second time our baggage was lost on route to NYC. I am not sure what the hell is up with United Airlines, but, the baggage system they have is awful. While I understand that bags being lost is common, I don't understand why the HELL they have a 1-800 number with "Simon, your voice activated helper". The voice activated system is the only way to find out what the hell is happening with your bags, and, as you will find out if you ever have to use this service, it is USELESS. As a matter of fact, I discovered after about 10 calls that you will never get to speak to an agent. You have to go through a series of voice prompts like:

What city are you in?
---by which you answer "NEW YORK CITY"

Then the robot person says, "Did you say Chicago?"

---You say "NO"

Then it says, "I'm sorry, can you please say it again?"

---Then you say "NEW YORK CITEEEE"

***this goes on and on and on and then you get told that there are no agents available to speak to. I discovered that it responds better if you use a very pissed off tone. Enunciate and be angry.

NEW YORRK CI-TEEEE! FUCK!

Anyhow, I won't bore you with the details, but, we did get our bags 3 days later. We were "forced" to go shopping on the 23rd so we had theatre outfits for La Cage Aux Folles. Discount designer shopping here we come!

On the 24th we went out on the town, went to Central Park for a walk, went to an Irish Pub called, "Maggie's"...(?) and I tried to call the United Baggage Robot again. It was a never ending frustrating experience and, it eventually brought me to slight tears. Well, this lovely couple sitting at the end of the bar saw me being upset and sent us over a couple of shots of Jamieson's. We downed them with glee.

The couple were from Houston, Texas and they had actually honeymooned in Vancouver! They were also staying at a hotel called, "The Fitzpatrick". We figured it was fate. They then invited us to go to the Waldorf-Astoria for a drink with them. We were a bit self-conscious due to our jeans and rubby clothes, but, they assured us no one would care.

They were so nice and fun. We laughed and had a grand ol time. Met the most famous bartender from "The Bull & The Bear." (the name of the Waldorf bar). Bull and Bear's legendary mahogany bar has been cited by The New York Times as one of the world's three greatest! We have no pictures from this night because, well, our camera was in our baggage (yes, we learned our lesson!). The one above is from the website.

The crusty old classic New Yorker bartender was in his 80's! He had been working there for 46 years! He mixed a stiff drink. Our new friends paid for all of our drinks very generously. The couple had to head out to a late dinner reservation, so Fitz and I hung out..and, before long, were chatting with a male couple beside us. We then were offered up MORE free drinks. It turned out that one of these men was a 12 year long employee of the Waldorf. It was so cool.

After Christmas, we went for an East side walk and discovered this amazing synagogue.

The Angel Orensenz Foundation for The Arts now owns it and is in the process of restoring it. The father of the artist (Angel Orensanz) was there and he allowed us inside. It was really old and full of soooo much soul. The original framework for the synagogue was still there. The artist currently lives in Europe and is fairly famous for his "boy in the bubble" hamster ball that he made...for humans. So cool.

The next best NYC moment was on January 1st, 05. We decided to go for a walk in Soho and look for a cafe to have a bite at. Off in the distance, through the sound of traffic, we could hear a wonderful do-wop group singing. As we walked up Spring Street, there they were. The most eclectic group of black men singing classic Motown songs to the fullest.

These guys called themselves, "Spank"....we listened to them for about an hour. I bought a couple of CD's from them. Including one that is recorded in Grand Central Station.

There is so much talent in NYC - even the homeless guy with a guitar will sound like a new "Bob Marley". We saw the cliche but ROCKIN plastic bucket drummer at 42nd Street station one night. He had a crowd of at least 50 around him. This is what struck me as so different from Vancouver. We tend to shy away from standing and appreciating street performers. Often, we think in our head, "Wow, that man is a great guitar player"..but, then we just walk on by and get on the bus. It is so different in NYC. People seem to appreciate the street music way more.

The urban nature of it seems to support the beauty of song so well too. The sweet sound of men singing acapella on a NYC stoop sounds so fine.

More to come.

new york new york what a wonderful town

2005-01-07T22:05:00.000-08:00

I have been advised to write in my blog. I actually had 2 emails from people wanting me to write. So, here is the blabbins! I promise to post pictures from my NYC trip. I will do it at work (shhh) as it is easier on my Powerbook.

Just got back from my 10 day NYC honeymoon. It was great. I have been to NY before - actually me and the hubby were there about a year ago. Our previous trip was only 4 days which we found to be overwhelmingly short. This time, we had 10 days.

We stayed in a bed and breakfast in SoHo. It was a HUGE room in a loft. From the outside, the building looked like nothing. From the inside, it was a huge loft with big rooms and much art. The 22 ft ceilings were very high...which made for some excellent art display. We failed to take any pictures in the loft, which is weird. Oops. Anyhow, it was neat. It was owned by this wacky 78 year old woman who, at first, seemed interesting and then later on, seemed....rude and kind of controlling. Half way through our stay she had to have day surgery on her eyes for some droopy drippy eye problem. This made for a pain killer filled woman.

I think when you are 78 you shouldn't be running a bed and breakfast AND taking pain meds and convalescing. My other complaint about the place was that the breakfast was essentially continental. Which, I think she should have mentioned. She advertises that the place is internet wired, which it is. However, you have to go into her office and plug your laptop in. Which, could be fine. But, I found that everytime I wanted to do it, she would have some comment to make like, "well, don't take too long.." or something of the sort. She got on my nerves. The second to last day she came into the room and said, "so, when are you leaving today?". I told her we weren't leaving until the next day...very early in the morning. She said that was not what we told her...I corrected her and said it was and reminded her that we had paid for 11 nights. I hate to sound ageist, but, I think she needs an assistant.

ANYHOW - the trip was fantastic.

We walked around a lot. We saw the new La Cage Aux Folles which was FABULOUS. The costumes were grand and velvety and feathery and excellent.

Then we saw August Wilson's new show called, Gem of the Ocean which was also great. We sat in the 3rd row. It starred Phylicia Rashad who played the Mother on The Cosby Show. She was remarkable.

We went to MOMA - which was mayhem. We waited for an hour in a huge lineup to get inside the building for more lineups. It was an incredible building and the design is perfect for a modern art museum. I will post pics soon. I took a particularly good shot of the atrium. Our biggest complaint was that they were letting in WAY too many people. It was packed. My husband described it like an art museum and a mall. I also realized very quickly that I have built in museum etiquette that I didn't realize I had. I have been fortunate to be attending museums since I was a small girl and this has literally trained me on the basic behaviours of art watching. Many of the following rules were not followed:

1) When someone is looking at a painting, you don't walk infront of them.
2) Speak quietly. (CHILDREN WERE YELLING AND RUNNING!)
3) Don't say things like, "I don't get it!", when you are looking at Picasso's works.
4) Don't say things like, "I could have painted that", "That is not art".

ARGH! I am an art snob and proud of it. When we went to the Cooper-Hewitt Design Museum which is in the old Carnegie residence (yes, those Carnegie's) I saw a quote that said something like, "Art is not an idea, it is a thing that can be dropped on your foot...".

MOMA was great, don't get me wrong. I just wanted the stupid people to go away.

We also went to a couple of jazz clubs and had the fortunate experience of Wynton Marsalis just popping by unexpectedly to play. The pianist, Cyrus Chestnut (whom I LOVE) says, "Mr Marsalis? Mr Marsalis?" halfway through the set..and then, the master trumpeter comes out. I also got to shake Cyrus's hand and thank him for his great piano playing. I love him. It was magical.

On New Years we went to a club called, Sweet Rhythm, which was formerly known as Sweet Basil in the 70's. It was a small room with a great band. This night also became amazing when we befriended the proprietor, Martha, and ended up getting in for free. The regular door rate for New Years was $50 USD each! She also had the band dedicate a song to us for our honeymoon. The song they did was, "Voodoo Child" by Hendrix. Perfect. This night was also blessed with another famous trumpeter. Grammy award winning Randy Brecker. He just decided to show up. At one point he was playing at his table and Martha invited me over to sit with him while he played for me privately. My husband had run to the bathroom at this point....too funny. Overall a great night...and Randy Brecker wished us well.

I will post more about NYC tomorrow. I have to go to bed now. There are even more crazy stories. Including the do-wop singers on the stoop and a retired dancer coming out to perform as a surprise for the Alvin Ailey Dance Company show we saw!

them's womens are stupid

2004-12-20T19:54:00.000-08:00

My feminist blood is flowing due to my recent t-shirt purchase. Cameron Manheim made me get it. I saw a picture of her wearing one in Ms. Magazine. SUCKA! I was forced to get one. I found this article on today's Time Magazine claim that Bush is The Person of The Year - it looks at the women who were acknowledged and those ignored.

I have taken to posting articles that I like. I am busy getting ready for my honeymoon in NYC. I am so excited to just even SAY that! Will be acquiring the lovely experience of jazz in Harlem.

Lenox Lounge, here we come.

Feminist Daily News Wire -- December 20, 2004
Time Magazine Names Few Women as "People Who Mattered"

Time Magazine named President Bush as the 2004 "Person of the Year," for the second time. Time also named 17 people, one group of women, and a HORSE as “People Who Mattered.” In addition to the cast of “Desperate Housewives,” only two women were named as “People Who Mattered” – Nancy Reagan and Martha Stewart.

***I should add that I am a huge Martha supporter. Her imprisonment is another example of female corporate America being over penalized for crime. Can anyone say Enron?

Time Magazine’s annual “Person of the Year” was originally called “Man of the Year,” a much more fitting title as only four individual women, one group of women, and “US Women” as a whole have been given this title in the tradition’s 77-year history. Until three US women whistleblowers received the title in 2002, none of the individual women were American.

“After watching Time reveal its Man of the Year with great fanfare for [the first] ten years [of Ms.’ existence], Ms. readers and staff had enough,” wrote Gloria Steinem, a founding editor of Ms. magazine. Ms. magazine began a tradition in 1982 of naming “Women of the Year” to showcase the diversity of women’s accomplishments.

The 2004 Ms. Women of the Year included the “Jersey Girls” (Kristen Breitweiser, Patty Casazza, Mindy Kleinberg, and Lorie Van Auken) the four 9/11 widows who made the 9/11 Commission happen; Betty Dukes, the lead plaintiff against Wal-Mart in the nation’s largest class action sex discrimination suit in history; Representative Maxine Waters (D-CA), whose courageous and determined actions saved the life of President Jean-Bertrand Aristide of Haiti; Samantha Power, whose Pulitzer Prize-winning book, A Problem from Hell: American in the Age of Genocide, brought national and international attention to genocide; Kathy Najimy, an actor/comedian and leading feminist activist; and Lisa Fernandez, an Olympic Gold Medalist who is symbolic of the massive gains of women made at the Olympics this summer. The magazine also selected 18 additional “Women Who Made a Difference,” from Susan Hockfield, the first woman president of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology; to Lt. Col. Karen Kwiatowski, a whistleblower who was the first to expose neoconservatives who were distorting intelligence to convince Congress to approve the invasion of Iraq; to Allison Schieffelin, a Wall Street bond trader who sued Morgan Stanley for sex discrimination and won, on her own behalf and on behalf of hundreds of other women.

nucular vs. nuclear always bothered me

2004-12-19T08:55:00.000-08:00

I have ALWAYS been annoyed by people who say nucular instead of nuclear. It makes me want to slap them. The linguist below is a man after my own heart. Oh, and while you are at it, check out this helpful site on how to build a "safe" nuclear shelter for your family.

Going Nucular -- By Geoff Nunberg

"Fresh Air" commentary, October 2, 2002

There are two kinds of linguistic missteps, the typos and the thinkos. Typos are the processing glitches that intercede between a thought and its expression. They can make you look foolish, but they aren't really the signs of an intellectual or ethical deficiency, the way thinkos are. It's the difference between a sentence that expresses an idea badly and a sentence that expresses a bad idea.

People don't pay much attention to that distinction when they take after the missteps and malaprops of presidents and other political figures. I've always felt that Dan Quayle got a bum rap over his inability to spell potatoes -- I mean, there are people who can spell and people who can't, and God doesn't seem to have paid much attention to other cognitive capacities in spreading that gift around. And while critics were always making fun of Eisenhower's woolly language, it wasn't really a sign of woolly thinking -- most people realized that he was an astute politician, and he could write lucid prose when he felt like it. Ditto former President Bush: he may have had difficulty speaking in complete sentences, but that didn't mean that he wasn't thinking in complete thoughts.

No president has taken more flak over his language than George W. Bush -- not Eisenhower, not even Harding. That's understandable enough; Bush's malaprops can make him sound like someone who learned the language over a bad cell phone connection. "My education message will resignate among all parents"; "A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out of an economic illness."

The columnists and talk-show monologues have tended to treat those errors as the occasions for mirth, rather than concern, the linguistic equivalents of Gerald Ford's pratfalls. Bush himself encouraged that interpretation with those Letterman and "Saturday Night Live" appearances during the campaign, when he made fun of his inability to pronounce subliminal and said he was "ambilavant" about appearing on the show. It was a shrewd maneuver, as Mark Crispin Miller points out in his recent book The Bush Dyslexicon, a penetrating look at Bush and his language. The self-mockery took the edge off the criticisms by painting Bush as just another irrepressible word-mangler, sort of a Yalie Casey Stengel.

But it isn't always easy to tell whether an error is a typo or a thinko. Take the pronunciation of nuclear as "nucular." That one has been getting on people's nerves since Eisenhower made the mispronunciation famous in the 1950's. In Woody Allen's 1989 film Crimes and Misdemeanors, the Mia Farrow character says she could never fall for any man who says "nucular." That would have ruled out not just Dubya, but Bill Clinton, who said the word right only about half the time. (President Carter had his own way of saying the word, as "newkeeuh," but that probably had more to do with his Georgia accent than his ignorance of English spelling.)

On the face of things, "nucular" is a typo par excellence. People sometimes talk about Bush "stumbling" over the word, as if this were the same kind of articulatory problem that turns February into "febyooary." But nuclear isn't a hard word to pronounce the way February is -- try saying each of them three times fast. Phonetically, in fact, nuclear is pretty much the same as likelier, and nobody ever gets that one wrong. ("The first outcome was likular than the second"? ) That "nucular" pronunciation is really what linguists call a folk etymology, where the unfamiliar word nuclear is treated as if it had the same suffix as words like molecular and particular. It's the same sort of process that turns lackadaisical into "laxadaisical" and chaise longue into chaise lounge.

That accounts for Eisenhower's mispronunciation of nuclear, back at a time when the word was a new addition to ordinary people's vocabularies. And it's why Homer Simpson says it as "nucular" even today. But it doesn't explain why you still hear "nucular" from people like politicians, military people, and weapons specialists, most of whom obviously know better and have been reminded repeatedly what the correct pronunciation is. The interesting thing is that these people are perfectly capable of saying "nuclear families" or "nuclear medicine." I once asked a weapons specialist at a federal agency about this, and he told me, "Oh, I only say 'nucular' when I'm talking about nukes."

In the mouths of those people, "nucular" is a choice, not an inadvertent mistake -- a thinko, not a typo. I'm not sure exactly what they have in mind by it. Maybe it appeals to them to refer to the weapons in what seems like a folksy and familiar way, or maybe it's a question of asserting their authority -- as if to say, "We're the ones with our fingers on the button, and we'll pronounce the word however we damn well please."

But which of these stories explains why Bush says "nucular"? Most people seem to assume he's just one of those bubbas who don't know any better. But that's hard to credit. After all, Bush didn't have to learn the word nuclear in middle age, the way Eisenhower did. He must have heard it said correctly thousands of times when he was growing up -- not just at Andover, Yale, and Harvard, but from his own father, who never seems to have had any trouble with the word. But if Bush's "nucular" is a deliberate choice, is it something he picked up from the Pentagon wise guys? Or is it a faux-bubba pronunciation, the sort of thing he might have started doing at Yale by way of playing the Texas yahoo to all those earnest Eastern dweebs?

Actually, there would be an easy way to tell -- just see how Bush pronounces nuclear in phrases like nuclear family and nuclear medicine. If he says "nucular" all the time, then it's most likely a faux-bubba thing. But if he only says "nucular" for weapons, it's probably a bit of borrowed Pentagon swagger. I'll be keeping my ears peeled.

moments of wierdness

2004-12-09T16:56:00.000-08:00

I am bloggin from work. Bad me.

I am gearing up for my delayed honeymoon to NYC. We are heading out in a couple of weeks and, for the first time ever, I will be away for Christmas. When I say "away" I mean really away....from my Mom. I am 34 and this is the first time I will be away from the parents. To some this may seen wierd and strange. To some it may be understandable. To me, its just wierdness. I know that my new husband and I will have a grand time in NYC over the holidays. I know that it will be memorable. But, at the same time, it seems strange that the opening of the gifts under the tree will be absent. In some ways I am happy I don't have to do that stuff. My BUY BUY BUY stress is gone and yet, I still am having moments of awwwww shucks.

So many years my Mom and I were dead broke. When I was in highschool, she was on and off of welfare..and Christmases were often kind of sparse. Over the past several years she has been so generous and I really really appreciate it. So, maybe this year, she will save a bit of that money and treat herself to a spa or something.

Things I will miss
Daisy the Dog with the antler headband
Our Barbara Streisand big nose bird that is on the top of the tree.
My StepDad insisting on playing the TV video of a fire crackling really LOUD.
PJ's and Mimosas - we rarely get dressed on Christmas Day
Loud Sinatra Christmas
My Mom's face...as we open gifts *she is always so full of smiles
Mom's shortbread
Stockings (Mom still does them!)
The beautiful tree
My Family....

sigh

I know it is about time..but, I am gettin kind of misty over it.

proud dogsledding canadian

2004-12-01T14:24:00.000-08:00

Boy, thanks Bush. It is so kind of you to come to Canada and thank us for helping during the September 11th crisis. We have been waiting for years for you to come and, now that you have, we are so much happier. You see, before we were deluded and thought you were an idiot. But, now, we just are so "gosh darn" happy that you came here that we now all think you are fantastic. We all believe, now, that you are sincere and that you actually didn't steal the November election. We all believe, now, that you are working hard to maintain your relationship with us. In the words of the great Tucker Carlson we are "dogsledding" people who need you more than you need us. By the way, Tucker, that is qamutiit to you (Inuit for dogsled, or maybe dog-humper....).

I believe
I believe
I believe

I believe that you, George Bush, are wrong about us. Canadians are more in touch with reality than Tucker Carlson's fashion sense will ever be.

We would be nice to ANY plane full of displaced people no matter what country they are from. Your political agenda will not fool us, even if we are distracted by the complicated harnessing of our dogsleds and are cold from the igloo construction earlier in the day.

You will never convince us of your lies, Mr. Bush.

Nice try. Now, quit bothering us, I have some hide to go gnaw so my children can wear nice shoes.

daisy to doggy heaven

2004-11-29T19:40:00.000-08:00

Last night we all gathered for American Thanksgiving at my parents house. We are Canadian, but my Mom married an American so they live just over the border. It was a bittersweet evening. We all had a nice dinner, don't get me wrong. But, it was also quite sad because our beloved family dog, Daisy, was on her last legs. Daisy had stopped eating about a week prior and was very shakey for a few days. The last 72 hrs she didn't move at all. She stayed on her doggy bed. She had lost quite a bit of weight and began to fade. It was amazing though......she was just like a terminal human. I have spent quite a bit of time working with AIDS patients when I was a massage therapist and - at one point, in a different situation, was in the hospital with a friend while her Mother passed away - Daisy, was the same. She was very still, her energy was slight..but, like people can do, she held on for the dinner. Everyone had a chance to say their goodbyes. I sat beside her and gave her "doggy massage". Tears streamed down my face. I spoke soft words to her.

We finished our dinner...toasted to Daisy....and all went home.

My Mom called today to say that Daisy passed sometime early this morning. Daisy was an amazing incredible dog. Her nickname in jest was "Colon Blow"....she was 16 years old...and died in her doggy bed, in her home. My brother slept over and had put a blanket over her at about 4am. He fell asleep on the sofa...and, then when he woke in the morning, she had passed on to the doggy heaven place.

We are all really sad. My Mom and her husband....I am sure, will grieve for a while.

Mom had set out pictures of Daisy on the coffeetable last night. We all had a chance to reminisce about her. Seeing how "youthful" she was when we first got her in 1990. Seeing my stepbrother as a wee boy.....and, looking up to him now as a 18 year old young man.

The neighbours also are sad. The cul-de-sac were all very used to Daisy being a fixture. The children across the street literally grew up with her. Daisy was the first dog that "little" Samantha ever met.

Daisy dog
White long darn fur all over everything
I found a long hair on my sweater and cried today
We loved your smile
I bet you are eating turkey & cheese in heaven
Your doggy clicky sounding trot...will be a whisper now
I will miss giving you doggy massage
I will miss your beggin eyes
I will miss you

what is this body?

2004-11-26T21:52:00.000-08:00

I am turning 35 in December and am realizing, in spite of the compliments that I look young, that my body is changing. I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like in the past year I have aged. When I look in the mirror I see a woman. I see some lines. I see my past. I am not one to live in a fantasy land that I will suddenly become the fatless 20 year old I once was. But, why is it that I still see things I don't like? I made a choice years ago to stop buying fashion magazines. This was a good move. It removes, at least, one unrealistic media source. However, I think that the makeover shows might be getting to me! In light of the constant barrage of plastic surgery, I am beginning to see myself differently.

My 135lbs seems wrong. I feel flabby sometimes. Am I the only one who sits in the bath and grabs my tummy fat in a blob? Yes, I know I am supposed to embrace my feminist, Naomi Wolfe lovin', I'm Okay - You're Okay body. But, lately, it seems to be more blobby! More wrinkly! More pasty! The evil SWAN show has infiltrated my psyche. I am ashamed to admit that I have stood in the mirror and pulled my forehead up to see what an "eyelift" would look like.

Mind you the last time my lovely friend Andrew and I watched the damn show we ended up in stitches laughing so hard as we gripped our faces and pulled the skin back and pooched our lips out saying, "I am so glad I was made beautiful by the Doctors!".

I know, I am a redhead. My skin is white...pale...alabaster. This is a good thing. I know I am lucky that I still cause raised eyebrows when I am asked for my ID.

So, I ask you this....is this a good thing or a bad thing? Story as follows.

I am in line at The Commodore Ballroom to see a concert and the bouncer asks me for my ID. I smile and I show it to him. He grips the card and bulges his eyes and says, "WOW!!". He said it really loud. I took it as a compliment. But, then as I ran it over in my obsessive head it became weird.

Maybe that is where the problem lies. My obsessive anxiety brain! This is the same part of me that turns my normal 34 year old body into a wierd blobby pasty average woman.

I remember once a therapist told me that I had some sort of anxiety disorder. I am still cautious to believe her. I think my "disorder" is just being a woman in a world full of fucked up images of women. I hate to say it but, the media does effect me. I like to believe that my feminist nature would make me immune to it, but, it doesn't.

So, how do I get over it? Will I ever be okay with myself? Do I have to go through menopause in order to lose concern over my body and what people think of me?

If we lived in a world where all bodies were in the media I am sure that I would feel differently. I am not sure I would prance around loving myself 24 hrs a day, but, I would at least be able to embrace my normal 34 year old changing body with a bit more class.

Hopefully, tomorrow I will feel better. Maybe I will wear the "good butt pants".

Mr P

2004-11-25T10:24:00.000-08:00

Mr P
Originally uploaded by missyfitz.

This is the magical Mr. P - aka Pele the Bengal cat. This is his EVIL face. He has a cute face too...this is usually associated with the love he and his girl cat Scribbler express.

the passion of the toast

2004-11-25T09:44:00.000-08:00

I just spent the last 15 minutes writing a brilliant piece on gender and language. Then my browser crashed. It wasn't saved yet - so, now I have to get the motivation to retype the WHOLE thing. JESUS CHRIST! Or, should I say, "Holy Mary Toast!".

I think we should all say holy mary toast from now on.

The Mary toast looks like a 4 year old child to me. Not sure how the cracksmokin lady who discovered it got "Mary" from it. I think I want to find a "Jesus Rye bread" image tomorrow morning. Then I will make more money than she did.

The best thing I have found so far is the do-it-yourself kit. You too can make the Mary toast!

If you think of any other quick ways to make money off of the Christians let me know.

bush visits halifax

2004-11-24T16:16:00.000-08:00

I think it is hilarious that Bush thinks that a warm and fuzzy visit to Halifax, NS will be a stress free experience. His motivation is apparently to thank the people of Halifax for their support during the September 11th disaster. Many planes were re-routed to the city...and many people came out to support. The thing that he doesn't realize is that the support wasn't because it was an American disaster and they wanted to help out the Americans by providing housing and things. Rather ethnocentric of Bush. The Halifax community would have supported anyone in an event like September 11th. That is the way the Halifax folk are. So, now YEARS later Bushy boy is coming to thank them for their help. I actually read in one article that "they don't expect protestors". Oh, dear. So very wrong.

is november depressing?

2004-11-23T09:28:00.000-08:00

While I love the crispy air and the orange leaves, I have to wonder whether the grey heavy clouds are affecting me. I am TIRED! I feel so lame too...like, I don't want to be one of those people who are "always tired"....I suppose I should give myself some credit due to the fact that I am back working in television production again. 9-5 work is not as hard as I thought it would be. I imagined that I would be hating it really quickly. But, I am not. I think the fact that I am constantly stimulated by new and challenging things is what keeps me focused.

I made a decision to leave my massage therapy practise after 3 years of hard work. I had a pretty steady practise with some very loyal patients. It was hard to tell people. I felt responsible for thier well being. But, I had to do it. Massage therapy paired with self-employment was killing me. My horrible sense of budgeting along with the unpredictable reality of self-employment was making me full of anxiety.

Now that I have a paycheque and a job that I can leave at the end of the day, I am much happier.

Have a grey day. But, have a happy day.